Buzz Off, Elon - Go to Mars!

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Special agent Elon Musk and his juvenile team of software engineers are currently terrorizing entire government departments and agencies as they interrogate panicked employees and snoop through confidential data on millions of Americans in a purported effort to slash wasteful spending and trim the size of government.  So far, wasteful spending appears to be money directed toward people in need and away from America's rich pig oligarchs.  Elon is going to fix that.

Elon's main team in this effort, sometimes referred to in the press as his "lieutenants," have been identified by name in the press and are all male and range in age from 19 to 24, with the 19-year-old being a recent high school graduate.  One of the six resigned this week when it was revealed that he has authored and posted several blatantly racist tweets in the past.  Musk has apparently been given approval by his director, Donald Trump, to bring the young man back into the government putsch.  There was also an unconfirmed report in the press this week that another of the six is living in a federal office with his wife and young child, and that the hall he is living on has been blocked off and requires a special access permission for entry by others whose real jobs are in that building.

Musk, age 53, is reported to be staying and sleeping in an office in the Eisenhower Office Building next to the White House, and he is encouraging his lieutenants to also sleep where they work.  This week Musk's shady Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) received eight high-tech sleep pods to maximize comfort and (supposedly) efficiency.

Elon, here are a few questions from a concerned taxpayer:

• What is the cost of a high-tech sleep pod and who paid for the ones that were just delivered to your unofficial government agency?
• Are you and your employees paying taxes on the overnight government accommodations?  That's a nice job perk, especially in a place as expensive as Washington, DC.
• What are the salaries of the young men in your entourage, and who is paying them?  Are they drawing a per diem?  Are you?
• If you and your young crew have access to my personal income tax records, may I please have access to yours?   Do you even pay any personal income tax in the United States?
• My own congressman, Rep. Jason Smith (R-MO), is the Chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, an important dude.  Jason has bragged about sleeping in his office.  He says it helps him to not get too comfortable in Washington, DC.  Could you hook Jason up with a high-tech sleep pod if he wanted one? 

This is the point where I should wish you success in your efforts to reform government, Elon, but since they appear to be based on destruction rather than efficiency, I guess I'll have to pass.    The United States of America has withstood  the evils of slavery, a Civil War, Jim Crow, economic hard times and a Great Depression, two World Wars, klansmen, Nazi's, segregation, polio, two major pandemics that killed millions of our citizens, and corrupt leaders.  

We will survive you as well.

Buzz off, Elon.   Go to Mars!