A Bridge Too Low

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

American billionaire, Jeff Bezos, currently the second richest human on the planet, is known for being a man of adventure.  Last summer he thrilled the world, or at least himself, when he rode into space atop  his own huge penis-shaped rocket - and by this summer he will be master of the seas with his own specially designed 417-foot super yacht, a monster of a boat that will be the largest sailing vessel - ship with sails - on the entire planet!

Jeff's Big Boat is still under construction by the Dutch custom yacht company, Oceanco, and there is no word as of yet whether it will be penis-shaped or not.

But regardless of its ultimate shape, the Bezos Boat will be big, really big.  It is going to be so big, in fact, that the enormous sails will make landing a helicopter onboard too dangerous - and a special boat will have to follow along to serve as a floating helipad.  

Jeff's Big Boat has another size issue which is currently making the news.  Yesterday it was revealed that the Netherlands may have to temporarily dismantle a historic bridge that has, for a century, been part of the iconic skyline of the city of Rotterdam.  The famed Koningshaven Bridge, locally referred to as "De Hef," has a clearance of 100 feet, and that is too low to accommodate Bezos's ego yacht.  

It now looks as though the city of Rotterdam will agree to dismantle the bridge for a day or two this summer, if Bezos agrees to pay for the project.  One of the city fathers commented that the project would provide jobs and paychecks for local workers.  The city may also make a few bucks off of tourists who are expected to show up to watch Jeff's vanity vessel make its way out to sea.  One Facebook group reportedly has over 600 people already signed up to meet at the bridge and throw eggs at the ship as it passes!

How nice for the Netherlands that they have a shipbuilding company ready, willing, and able to build a private cruise ship for an American billionaire.  There must not have been any American shipbuilding companies capable of doing the job.  And how fortunate for Jeff Bezos that he is not burdened with paying any income taxes in his home country, the United States of America, so that now he can use those savings to create jobs in the Netherlands.

And how fortunate for Jeff Bezos that his wealth increased yesterday - in one day alone - by $20 billion!   That kind of money could do a lot of real good in the world.

Just sayin' . . .