Sunday, July 6, 2014

The Fine Line Between Trash and Treasure

by Pa Rock
Trash Master

There is going to be a wedding at my house this coming Saturday evening, out in the back yard, close to the barn.   (No, it's not me.  I'm a lot smarter than that - now!)  My oldest son, Nick, is marrying a very sweet woman named Christy, and for some reason they want to do it here.

Because the stroll to the scene of the nuptials will entail walking across most of the farm and past all of the outbuildings, I have spent the past three weeks pitching crap into a rented dumpster - and the previous owners left lots and lots of crap!  I have just finished filling the dumpster for a second time, and there are still some leftovers that I need to get rid of.

Yesterday I developed a new strategy that is cheaper than renting a dumpster.  I moved two cheap-o aluminum storm windows and an aluminum storm door (minus its window) from behind the barn and up into the front yard next to the road.  They looked so good leaning up against a big pine tree, that I carried out some guttering for accents.  The door and windows hosted several dirt dauber nests, and who knows what was living in the guttering!  All of it had obviously been sitting out behind the barn for years.

But it looked nice out under the tree, like some Warhol yard sculpture.

Then I went into the house, found a marker and some paper, and began making signs.  I taped the signs, each boasting America's favorite f-word, in strategic places on my art project, and then sat on the porch to watch the fun.

There is something about the word "free" that just seems to rob people of their good sense.

Very soon an old codger nearly took out my mailbox as he jerked around to get a look at the merchandize - but he didn't stop.

Before long an old man pulled in driving a pick-up truck with quite a bit of treasure already in the bed.  He barely was out of his vehicle when a second guy pulled in wanting to know if the free stuff was till available.  The first guy said "yup" he believed he would take it.  As I helped him load his treasure into the truck, I learned that he really didn't have a use for it - yet - but he did have forty acres where he could keep it until a need arose.

Some day he will sell that forty acres and leave all of the crap where it sits - and it will be someone else's problem.  That's how we do thing's here in the Ozarks.

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