Saturday, January 21, 2012

It's Newt!

by Pa Rock
Political Prognosticator

Mitt Romney must be wondering what happened.  Just a few days ago he was basking in the glow of victories in the first two voter showdowns of 2012, Iowa and New Hampshire, and his well-paid staffers were blanketing the airwaves with stories of his "inevitability."  But now suddenly the rush to crown him King of the Krazies seems to have hit an snag, and his inevitability is evaporating faster than a snowball rolling into hell.

And Mitt must feel like he has been run down by that very snowball.

So many things have happened that were not part of the highly scripted Romney campaign.  Who knew that Newt Gingrich would get off that great shot at Juan Williams, a black journalist who called him out on his unabashed bigotry, and get a standing ovation from the peckerwoods in South Carolina.  Mitt's mama, God rest her, raised him better than that.  And then a few days later  Gingrich tore into another journalist, CNN's John King, and got his second standing ovation from people who vote for Neanderthals like Joe Wilson and Jim DeMint.

Yesterday the Republican Party of Iowa had a change of heart and announced that they recounted their votes (still at a secret location) and Little Ricky Santorum is now the winner of Iowa - while Mitt slumped in a corner wistfully singing, "No, no, they can't take that away from me!"

And then there were those cruel endorsements of Gingrich from the absolute creme de la creme of the Republican Party.  The giants of GOP electoral politics, people like Todd and Sarah Palin, rushed to endorse Newt Gingrich.   When Rick Perry quit the race, he threw his support to the Newt also.  (With all of that going for him, there was no need to ask "What would Jesus do?")  Who would be next?  Tebow?

Well, actually Chuck Norris was next - and with that bombshell it is literally all over.  Joe Arpaio, a supporter of Rick Perry, will undoubtedly soon call a news conference to announce his support of Gingrich - and as Arpaio goes, so goes Steven  Seagal!

It's dominoes, baby - dominoes!  And they're starting to fall!


Xobekim said...

It is a strange story out of Iowa from the political party perpetually waging the battle against voting fraud.

The Iowa Republican Chairman announced on a radio show that Rick, B.F.F., Santorum had won the Iowa caucuses. Then an hour or two later he backed off saying the Iowa GOP couldn't find the results from 7 or 8 precincts. So the Iowa GOP isn't really sure who won.

But B.F.F. won the certified vote.

And this from the party worried about rigging elections through voter fraud!

Don said...

The idea of the Newster as the GOP brings to mind several questions:

1. Has any other amphibian come this close to his party's nomination?

2. How sweet it is!