Friday, January 27, 2012

Brewer's Finger-Pointing: The Real Story

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

When Air Force One landed in Phoenix last week it inadvertently plopped down on a fat woman riding a broom, squashing her into a large oil stain on the runway.  The old witch, Josephine R. Piehole, was struggling to get her broom airborne when the President dropped in and ruined her day.  By the time the President finally stepped down from his luxury airliner, Josephine's little sister, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, was waiting on the tarmac to have words with the elected leader of the free world.

Turning ever so slightly to make sure that the gathered press photographers had a view of her profile, the craggy old politician then pointed her finger directly in the President's face while asking quietly if he had had a pleasant flight and inquiring after his family.  The President, to his credit, resisted the urge to bite off the offending finger, and engaged the governor in a few pleasantries of his own.

(We know of their exact comments because Channel 57's weatherman, Dusty Haboob, was in a weather chopper on the other side of the runway with his binoculars focused on the pair.  Haboob lipreads both Harvard English and Cackle.)

According to the weatherman, things quickly lost their cordiality when Brewer handed President Obama an empty envelope and told him that he would have to fill it with proof of his citizenship or immediately leave her state.  When he told her that she was standing in his jurisdiction, the United States of America, Arizona's Chief Executive snapped back, "I'll get you for that, My Pretty!")

After storming out of the airport, the governor called a press conference and said that the President had been rude to her and told her that he had been offended by what she had written about him in her book.  (Really?  What are the odds that a former editor of the Harvard Law Review would even own a book by Jan Brewer, much less read it?)

The latest word is that the Arizona's governor is holed up in Bisbee training her flying monkeys how to fire automatic pistols so they can head south and protect the border.   She'll teach those terrorist housekeepers and gardeners a thing or two when they try to walk across the burning sands of her state to earn less than minimum wage - you betcha, she will!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!