Goodbye Evil Arch

 

by Pa Rock

Survivor

 Over the past eight years I have had physical therapy at the local hospital three times, each for an issue involving shoulders and arms.    In 2015 I was dealing with a bone spur on my shoulder that was very painful and eventually resulted in surgery.  Then in May of 2020, just as the pandemic was getting into full swing, I fell backward out of a raised flower bed and broke my right arm just below the shoulder, a break that could not be cast and involved a lot of pain and discomfort.  Finally, on January 30th of this year I slipped on some black ice and managed to break my left arm just below the shoulder -  a break almost identical to the one that I suffered less than three years earlier on the other arm.  

This time, after an ambulance ride to the ER and later a visit with the orthopedist in his office, I went to Kansas City for a month of R&R while my son and his family looked after me - and then I returned to West Plains for physical therapy which began in early March.  The long ordeal finally came to an end yesterday.  The physical therapist, whom I had once before, did a wonderful job, and the arm is much better.

This time in the physical therapy program I had one treatment that I did not experience on during the first two rounds at the same clinic.  I call the new procedure "The Evil Arch."

"The Evil Arch" is an extremely simple device that could be made in any home workshop for a twenty-dollar bill, but I suspect the one at the clinic, which looked to be professionally made, probably set the hospital back a couple of hundred bucks.

Basically "The Evil Arch" has a one-inch board base that is about three-feet in length eight inches or so in width.  A plastic support bracket to hold a 3/4-inch PVC pipe in place is screwed into the center of each end of the board about one inch from the end.  The end of a piece of 3/4-inch PVC pipe is placed in one of those brackets and tightened into place, and then extended out toward the other bracket.   The pipe, however, is longer than the space between the brackets, and must be bowed upward about two feet into the air before it will connect and fit into the bracket on the other end of the board.  In that process it becomes an "arch."  Then 27 large plastic shower rings are clamped onto the arch - and before you ask - I have no idea why that particular number was chosen.  The shower rings spend the rest of their existence being lifted  up and over the arch from one end to the other.

"The Evil Arch" is very lightweight and can easily be moved by one person to various locations to accommodate the individual needs and abilities of patients.  When I used it - which was every day that I was present in the clinic - the device sat on a window ledge giving me a grand view of the traffic along US 63.   The base of the contraption was about one inch above my navel, and the tip of the arch was about one inch above the top of my head.  Any first grader could have lifted those rings all day long - but for a seventy-five-year-old codger using his broken arm, it was more of a struggle.

When I was introduced to "The Evil Arch" on my first day in the program, I thought smugly that it was one activity at which I could excel.   As my therapist looked on, I moved the 27 shower curtain rings, one at a time, from one end of the arch to the other.  Easy peasy.  But before I could move on to the next activity, the therapist complicated my life by then asking me to move them back to their original position.   By the time I had moved all 27 back to the side of the board where it had all started, my arm was beginning to throb.

We went on that way for a couple of sessions, with me lifting the rings up and over for a total of 54 times, But when I began to show an abundance of competence and confidence with that task, the therapist changed the game plan. Now she wanted me to do that whole routine twice - or a total of 108 lifts.  (I know it was 108 because I got to where I counted each and every one to myself.)    The longer I lifted, the heavier those strength-suckers became! 

Then one day the therapist suggested that we make it a little more interesting, and she added a half-pound weight to my wrist at the beginning of the activity.  It was harder, but I persisted and mastered that - all the while suspecting what the next modification would be.  The weights were gradually increased, and for the past month so I have been doing the 108 lifts per session with two pounds of weights on my left wrist, the wrist attached to the most recently broken arm.  What were once simple shower-curtain rings were beginning to feel like bricks!

But I did it, twice a week every week - along with many other strength-building activities, and yesterday I graduated!

My arm is better, my attitude is better, and I will never look at PVC plumbing pipe and shower curtain rings the same way again!

Thank you, Julie!