A Bad Day for Mowing

 

by Pa Rock

Trimmer of Grass

I'm old enough to remember the age of biorhythms, a bit of New Age quackery that surfaced in the 1970's and was used by many to justify various aspects of their lives, as well as their accomplishments or lack thereof.  Biorhythm theory was a pseudoscience which suggested that peoples' lives were influenced by rhythmic cycles - physical cycles of exactly 23 days, emotional cycles of 28 days, and intellectual cycles of 33 days.  

The days progress through each of the individual cycles in a wave pattern from the high points of +100 when things in a particular cycle are generally going very good, down to a "0" lie in the middle where things are of an uncertain nature, and then on down to a -100 where things can get decidedly negative.  I think at one time these extremes were called "critical" days.

Several scholarly studies have failed to lend any credence or validity to the theory of biorhythms whatsoever.

Be that as it may, yesterday I experienced what was clearly a "double critical" day in my physical and emotional cycles.  I had put off mowing to the point that my neighbor had sneaked out one evening earlier in the week and taken a couple of passes along the portion of my yard that borders the road separating our houses.  When the neighbor starts sneaking around to mow your yard for you, it is definitely time to mow!

After spending thirty minutes or so getting suited-up in my special mowing gear - long pants and long-sleeved shirt, bucket hat - along with plenty of sunscreen of the few remaining exposed spots of my tired old carcass, I went to town, bought gas for the mower and came home ready to get down to the business of riding the mower for six or more hours.  It was 10:00 a.m. when I first cranked my mighty zero-turn riding mower.  One hour later I finally got it started.  Someone, somehow, had managed to turn off the fuel supply line which slowed the process considerably, but whoever did the dastardly deed had failed to take into account that I have five college degrees and would eventually figure it out.  Before that experience I had not even known about the fuel supply line or the very small lever the t shuts it off.  Now I do.  Clearly my "intellectual" cycle was hitting its full stride, even if my "physical" cycle was showing some concern.  But through it all, I managed to keep my "emotional" cycle in check.

I hadn't been mowing very long when I ran over a brick.  After I got the mower shut down and restarted, I was relieved to see that I hadn't torn it up.  That came thirty minutes later.

The reason I ran over the brick is that it was nearing 11:00 a;m. and getting warmer, and I had applied sunscreen too liberally to my face and it was melting and getting in my eyes.  I was squinting and my vision was becoming impaired.

Not long after the brick, I nudged the mower too closely to a raised flower bed that I was circling and managed to knock a large landscaping stone loose - and then run over it.  That one did so some damage, and by the time I got the mower stopped, I had a flat tire which appeared to be damaged.  At that point my "emotional" cycle was also bottoming out.

Being home alone and not being a mechanic, I abandoned that mower and went and got my spare - a much older rider with a smaller cut and a steering wheel.  I hadn't been on the spare in nearly three years - although my son has kept it operational and occasionally uses it himself to help Old Dad with the mowing, so it took several minutes to relearn how to use it - but I finally did.  Then I spent about half-an-hour being beaten to death by that antique - and it was extremely brutal to my broken arm.   I finally decided that since I had about a third of the yard mowed, and all of the parts that can be seen from the road, that I would give it a rest and try to get the tire repaired on the good mower.  Today my son is in town working on that task.

There are days that just do not start out worth a damn, and those are the days when a person should consider going back to bed.  Maybe biorhythms have no validity, but there is something to be said about having a plain old "bad day!"

A day that starts in the crapper will most likely stay in the crapper!