Is the GOP Getting Too Much Fiber?

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

I was watching a YouTube channel this morning and enjoying Randy Rainbow's hillarious takedown of Ron DeSantis, and when that ended it was immediately replaced by a clip of some nutritionist or doctor  doing a presentation on the dangers of consuming too much fiber.  I'm old enough to remember when we were encouraged to get more fiber into our bodies, but now, according to the video that I saw this morning, that practice is regarded as risky.  The person in the clip was saying that excessive fiber in one's diet can cause "poop blockage" in the bowels, stretch the bowels, and increase discomfort when one sits on the pot.

And all of that, of course, circled my thought processes right back to Ron DeSantis and the other  Republican dreadful hopefuls who are running for President - or at least are strongly contemplating getting into the race.  As I pondered the list, I suddenly realized that many of them seem to be from the same part of the country - the American Southeast - and, for some reason, that again brought me back to thoughts of poop blockage.  

Oh, there are geographic outliers to be sure.  Strays with little-to-no chance of getting the nomination like Sununu in New Hampshire, Christie in New Jersey, Noem in South Dakota, Pence in Indiana, and Hutchinson in Arkansas.  While they must content themselves with snatching the occasional bit of press attention, it is a gaggle of goobers in the Southeast who are sucking down most of the GOP's oxygen - and they are almost all centered in two states:  Florida and South Carolina.

First among the Florida candidates would have to be Mr. Toad of Mar-a-Lago who has already declared, and as a former President as well as an active and buffoonish cult leader, Donald Trump cannot be ignored.  Then there is also the extremist right-wing governor of Florida, Ron DeSantis, who seems to be planning a formal entry into the race next week.  (If you have yet to see the Randy Rainbow clip on DeSantis, it will make your day!)

Trump and DeSantis, that's two mighty big political names from a state whose dry land mass gets smaller every day.  But there's more.  Francis Suarez, the very popular Mayor of Miami, also seems to be heading toward an imminent announcement that he, too, is running.  Republicans in Florida have cultivated the Cuban immigrant vote for generations, and Suarez, a son of Cuban immigrants, ought to have a fairly solid grasp on that section of the electorate.

And there's more yet!  Florida has two Republican senators with national name recognition.   Rick Scott, the Medicare fraudster who tried unsuccessfully to topple Mitch McConnell from his leadership of the GOP in the Senate, has said that he will not run, but honesty is not Scott's long suit, and he could change his mind.   The state's other senator, Marco Rubio, ran unsuccessfully for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016, and has, as of yet, not made any noise about getting into the race this year.   But Little Marco, like Scott, has no shortage of ambition.

Whether they are officially "in" the race or not, that is still five well known Republicans from just one state, any of whom would humiliate themselves in a heartbeat by eating corndogs at the Iowa State Fair in front of cameras if they thought they had a snowball's chance of winning four years of flying around in Air Force One and playing unlimited golf.

And then there is South Carolina.

Former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley has already announced her candidacy for the GOP Presidential nomination.  Haley was most recently Trump's Ambassador to the United Nations.  While serving as governor of South Carolina, Haley appointed  Tim Scott to the US Senate in 2013 when Senator Jim DeMint resigned, and Scott has since been re-elected in his own right.  Senator Scott, the first Black person to represent South Carolina in the Senate since Reconstruction, has filed paperwork indicating that he, too, plans to run for the GOP presidential nod.  

That's two from South Carolina - and should the ever-charming Senator Lindsey Graham develop a wild hair and throw his chapeau into the ring during a fit of pique, why that would be three!

And while we are focused on the Southeast, there is also a delusional squeaky hinge in the state of Georgia who thinks that Donald Trump is just itching to ask her to be his running mate.

Maybe it's something in the water that's creating this wad of presidential ambition within the GOP in the American Southeast, or, then again, perhaps that political blockage is just the result of too much fiber.

Perhaps an elephant laxative would be in order.

In fact, better make it a suppository!