The Lyin' King Roars at CPAC

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Ever since the last guy to occupy the White House and his escort official entourage flew off to Florida on January 20th and the Biden's had the White House fumigated before moving their things in, I have tried to look forward and forget about the four years that our country spent mired in hate and ignorance.  But January has slipped quietly into March and the the American right-wing milieu of angry white bigots, homophobes, misogynists, gun-humpers, and Bible thumpers are slowly beginning to emerge from hibernation.

The past few days have witnessed the annual American Nazi Home and Garden Show, better known as the Conservative Political Action Conference - or CPAC.  This conference is where the extreme right-wing of the Republican Party pays careful attention to the absolute worst of what the party has to offer in the way of national candidates, and then tries muster enthusiasm for the worst of the worst as they begin the long slog toward the presidency.

People who have a desire to be movers and shakers at the national level of GOP politics normally rush to the CPAC conventions where they speak, hobnob, and try to build alliances.

The keynote speaker took the stage yesterday.  The last guy to serve in the White House - before Biden - leaned onto the podium and talked for an hour-and-a-half.  He ranted and roared and lied about the Biden administration for much of his time at the podium, declaring among other things that this replacement in the White House had already proven to be disastrous in many areas because his policies differed from his predecessor.  He also took verbal potshots at the few Republicans who had the courage to support the impeachment efforts that were launched against him while he served in the White House.

After that guy finally gave up the podium, the conference held its famous secret-ballot straw poll to see who the attendees preferred to see run as the GOP candidate for President in 2024.  In the first poll, the guy who had been in the White House took 55% of the vote, a clear majority yet somewhat short of a mandate from God.  He was trailed by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis who had 21% of the vote and South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem who garnered four percent.  Further down in the rankings were Texas Senator Ted Cruz who had two percent, former Vice President Mike Pence who, although he faithfully polished the last guy's golfing shoes for four years, only managed to get 1% of the secret ballot votes, and Senator Josh Hawley, whom Forbes Magazine labeled as being a Republican from Mississippi, also only managed to scrape 1% of the vote off of the soles of his own shoes.

Then the conference took another straw poll to see how the candidates fared if that last guy to serve in the White House was eliminated.  Governor DeSantis of Florida, the "host" of the Orlando conference, won that one with 43 percent.  Kristi Noem of South Dakota followed him at 11 percent and third was the last guy's son, Junior, who polled eight percent.  Following Junior were former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo at 7% and Texas Senator Ted Cruz, also at seven percent.  (How humiliating, Ted, to be beaten by Junior.  But at least you managed a win over his sister, Ivanka, who got 3% of the votes.)

Fortunately for people like Ted and Josh, the CPAC straw poll is not an important factor in the very long US presidential selection process.  First, it always focuses on a non-diverse field of candidates who all tend to strongly resemble and sound like each other, and second it is generally always wrong.  Mitt Romney has won it four times, and Rand Paul has been victorious three.

I'm glad the American Fascists were able to have their party and worship their Golden Idol, but now the party's over - and the evil, forbidding shadow of the last guy still looms large over the land.   Republicans know they can't win with that guy, but can they win without him?

Maybe while they are off wrestling over the soul of their party, America will have an opportunity to begin healing the many injuries that were inflicted upon our nation by the last guy who lived in the White House.  And maybe now that we have looked fascism squarely in the face and smelled its foul breath, we will have the memory and the strength to never again be drawn into its cesspool of hate and rancor. 

America defeated that other guy, and now we must be ever vigilant in insuring that he and his ilk stay defeated.  Democracy is the key.  When people are allowed to vote, and encouraged to vote, decency prevails and humanity wins - and when people like that other guy slither into power, when good people fail to vote, civilization rolls backward.

Forward, America, forward!