Lindsey's Got a Gun

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Now that John McCain is no longer around to tell him to sit down and shut the hell up, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina seems to be constantly in the news.  Even crusty old McCain, who himself managed to squeeze two or three Sunday morning news shows into his schedule each week, might be impressed at the amount of time that Lindsey.dedicates to sniffing out news crews.  If only he had something newsworthy to say!

Over the past few days Lindsey has traveled to our nation's southern border along with seventeen of his senate GOP colleagues to draw attention to immigration issues and to try to scare Americans into believing that a.) there is an out-of-control crisis at the border, and that b.) that crisis somehow originated with Joe Biden and has absolutely nothing to do with the four years of cruelty inflicted upon immigrants and refugees by Donald Trump and his sadistic administration.   The trip to the border was great political theatre that generated lots of fine campaign film footage.

Then after a pair of mass shootings - Atlanta and Boulder - Lindsey tried to quiet rumblings about the need for more effective gun policies by telling America about his own cherished AR-15, a fully automatic weapon that he has for protection in his South Carolina home.   He shared a scenario in which some natural disaster hits, and then "gangs" begin attacking private homes - like his own - in search of loot - or food - or whatever.  "Gangs" is South Carolinian for two or more young black men standing together on a street corner, or anyone lined up at a taco truck trying to buy a Pepsi and a burrito.

Yesterday Lindsey went onto some of John McCain's old haunts - the Sunday morning news shows -  and accused Joe Biden of playing the "race card" when he rightly pointed out that Georgia's new spate of racially motivated election laws were a continuation of the South's infamous "Jim Crow" legislation from the last century.  Lindsey's Fruit-of-the-Looms got themselves into a big old knot over that, yes they did! 

This week Lindsey Graham will be in the news again - and again - and probably yet again.   He just can't help himself.  And when he's not speaking to reporters, or on the floor of the Senate trying to thwart government assistance to the poor, he will probably be sitting at home in his camo jammies and bunny slippers - and lovingly stroking his AR-15 as he fantasizes about driving those immigrant hordes back into Mexico!  

And as Lindsey Graham races across the bloody, burning sands of the Sonora Desert, firing his trusty AR-15 with one hand and lobbing grenades with the other, John McCain's voice comes booming in above all of the chaos yelling "Lindsey, sit down and shut the hell up!"