Of Epstein, Koch, and BLTs

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

I have long harbored a theory that if there is a literal Hell, then it’s main furnace room is probably located just a couple of feet beneath the city of Phoenix, Arizona.  I have lived in a variety of climates, but Phoenix was by far the most brutal – well, during the summer at least.

There is a week every June when the daytime temperature in Phoenix hovers around 120 degrees, and in the evenings it cools down to the mid-nineties.    With climate change, which is happening now, it will only get worse. The temperature is so hot in Phoenix in June that Sky Harbor airport has to occasionally suspend service because the asphalt on the runways begins melting.  It is literally the equivalent of Death Valley trying to support one of the largest urban complexes in the United States.

My theory about the furnaces of Hell lying beneath Phoenix may be confirmed soon as two well known Americans arrive and begin to settle in.   Jeffrey Epstein, a billionaire sex trafficker of underage girls for the rich and famous, and David Koch, a billionaire planet rapist, climate denier, and promoter of right-wing politicians and causes,  have both recently slipped the mortal bonds of earth, and, if there is a Hell, have recently checked in and are currently sizzling like two cheap strips of Jimmy Dean Bacon.

And if there is no Hell, both of these men of consequence are gone and have left the things that mattered most to them in life behind.  Epstein is moldering in a box underground without any fourteen-year-old girls to keep him amused,  and David Koch, who only died yesterday, will soon be in his own box without money or anything to spend it on.  Epstein without his stable of little girls – and Koch without his power and money – why they might as well be dead!

Novelist Stephen King, who appears not be believe in an afterlife after all, made this observation on Twitter yesterday following the announcement of David Koch’s passing:

“David Koch has left the building without cash, credit cards, or checking accounts.  As we all do.”

Yes, David Koch may have been a political power here on earth, but his mortal remains will soon be dust in the wind, and his dust will mix freely with the dust of others - immigrants, people of color, Democrats – the horror, the horror!

Death is the great equalizer – if there is no afterlife.  And if there is an afterlife, the special this weekend will probably be BLTs!