by Pa Rock
Sports Promoter
Calling all teabaggers, Klansmen, and other cow molesters! If you can dribble (a basketball) but have shied away from competitive sports for fear of being made to feel inferior by people of color, a new basketball league is being formed with you in mind! That's right! If you believe that racial purity is America's security, have we got a deal for you!
A new basketball league, the All-American Basketball Alliance, is now being formed in Augusta, Georgia, with the express aim of using only white players. You read that right! Don "Moose" Lewis, the commissioner of this so-called league, wants his teams to focus on fundamentals, and not be influenced by the "street ball" that he feels is practiced by non-whites. He is also fearful that black players would be apt to grab their crotches, attack fans in the stands, and flip-off fans. Seriously.
Lewis wants to sell franchises for $10,000 each for teams to be housed in twelve cities in the southeastern United States. So far there are no takers, and even the mayor of his own city is saying "no thanks." But the promoter persists in believing that he has a product that people will rush to support.
Sadly, he could be right, but let us hope that most city leaders will pass on the opportunity to associate their communities with this trash.
It's the 21st century, Goober. You've been asleep way too long!
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