How Hot Is It?

by Pa Rock
Weatherman

It's hot in Arizona, so damned hot that the asphalt radiates its scorching heat through shoes, and socks, and flesh. It's so hot that the little birds totally ignore me when I scatter tater tots for them at lunch. Just a few short weeks ago they were coming in so close that I feared for the safety of my lunch - and now they're gone, hiding in some dark hot place waiting on the sun to go down. And when the evening finally does arrive, those tater tots will be burned beyond edibility.

Arizona heat is unrelenting, and it's a bitch. The past three days have been over one hundred degrees each, and it's only early May. There are no clouds to give hope for rain, only the occasional hot breeze made brown with the worthless dust of the desert. Everything hides under rocks, or beneath buildings, or in air-conditioned cubicles until the sun sets and the temperature eases down into the 90's. If there is any living to be done in this hellhole, it will be in the evening, or late at night, in dark places.

An appropriate summer greeting in this part of Arizona is "Go to Hell!" While Hades might not be the ideal vacation spot, it has to be cooler than Phoenix!