by Pa Rock
Desert Rat
Arizona has two basic weather conditions: warm and hot. Arizona "warm" is hot in most of the rest of the world, and Arizona "hot" is melt-your-liver hot. Those native to this hellhole spice up their food with jalapenos and liquid fire sauces that bake their bodies from the inside while the sun bakes if from without. It's a crazy culture that has been out in the sun way too long.
There are also three or four days a year when the wind blows to beat hell across the desert. Today the sky got so brown that the ubiquitous mountains off in the distance were hidden from view. Lawn chairs and tumbleweeds were blowing across the major thoroughfares with wild abandon. If all of that wind were to come roaring into the Midwest, it would be the harbinger of an impending storm. In Arizona, however, it signifies nothing. I guess that it could mean that the seasons are fixing to change, and if that is the case - God help us!
Summertime in the desert. I will be moving into my new place in a couple of weeks. My lawn chairs (two) are made out of a heavy steel mesh. I plan to put them in a shady spot out behind my elegant trailer, right next to a killer lawn sprinkler. If you come to the front door and I'm not answering, check around back. I will be just one more potted palm in this cruel, cruel desert!
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