What About Bubba?

by Pa Rock

The biggest problem facing the Obama campaign isn't choosing a running mate, deciding how to campaign against McBush, or even what to wear on Inauguration Day. The biggest problem that Team Obama faces is what to do about Bubba. The ex-President got his ass kicked by a rookie, and he ain't about to forget it.

Well, you Illinois giant-slayers can quit worrying because Pa Rock has a plan.

Big Bill wanted this election, and everything else for that matter, to be about him. So why not slice off a piece of the electoral map and give it to him. Tell Bubba that if he's as God-awful powerful as he thinks he is, he can just go out and prove it by placing Arkansas in the Democratic column. Then buy that sucker a bus ticket and put him on the road.

Stroke that big boy's ego, get him pumped up with a challenge that he can't refuse. Put it on the national news - Bill Clinton will deliver Arkansas to Obama! Paint him into a corner, and then set the building on fire and see what happens!

Tell him to sound off in Yellville, buzz around Bee Branch, and not to get too picky in Cotton Patch. He needs to leave his Oxford airs at home, and not use big words in Dumas. Bubba knows Arkansas. Tell him that he can do it, the future of the free world rests on his shoulders - just like it did in the good old days!

And if he doesn't get hooked by the nostalgia of the small towns of his youth, remind him of all of those nubile young hillbilly gals chasing their pet razorbacks through the hills and hollers of Arkansas! His little head will rise to the challenge!