Saturday, December 24, 2016

Stars Refusing to Shine

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

There may only be one "star" at next month's presidential inauguration - the bloated ego-maniac with one hand on the Bible and the other hand who-knows-where.  The incoming President considers himself to be a star, he said so to Billy Bush when he noted that it gave him a certain amount of (shall we say) 'leeway' in handling the ladies.

Other stars have been invited to join The Donald on his big day, but they are declining faster than the invitations can be stamped and mailed.  Sir Elton John won't be coming, and neither will tenor Andrea Bocelli - despite strangely well-placed rumors that both would be headliners at the show.  In fact, the "no thank you's" are coming in so fast and furious that Donald is now quacking about how he really didn't want stars there anyway - because it's going to be a "people's" inauguration.


But fear not, the Rockettes are coming - although some in the organization reportedly do not want to be a part of the inaugural entertainment.  As word of that employee controversy began spreading, the company that owns the Rockettes and the union that represents them issued statements saying those that did not want to perform would not have to.  Many, however, still feel they are being intimidated to do their bit for the glory of Trump, and that those who do not attend will be quietly fired for other reasons.

Rumor has it that the Beach Boys are also "considering" accepting their invitation to perform at the event.  The group, a reconstituted version of the original that was formed back in the sixties when they really were "boys," is now roughly of the same age and physique as the incoming President.

And they'll have fun, fun, fun til Fat Boy takes their Medicare away!

It does look as though The Mormon Tabernacle Choir plans on performing, but even that is drawing controversy.  A petition is reportedly circulating asking that venerable group to reconsider and stay home.

There is also a semi-credible story circulating which says that the Trump transition team is offering ambassadorships to anyone who can lure some A-list Hollywood celebrities to the inauguration.

About the only "stars" that can be expected to shine at the inauguration of Donald J. Trump are the political ones.  Congress will already be in town and, if the weather is nice, many of the Republicans at least should step out into the sunshine and watch the show.   Senator Ben Sasse probably won't join them if there are any noteworthy dumpster fires in the D.C. metro area on inauguration morning.  Senator Jeff Flake will more than likely be performing maintenance on his lawnmower getting it ready for spring.    And Senator Lindsey Graham will be wherever Senator John McCain tells him to be - but the rest of the GOP lemmings should be faithfully lined up behind Mitch the Tortise and Lyin' Ryan to watch the show.

Former Presidents are invited, but so far only Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter have accepted.  The two Bush Presidents aren't big fans of the man who so freely badmouthed Jebya and the Bush family back during the primary season, so they may or may not attend the coronation.     The Obamas will most likely be there, although Michelle is her own woman and might opt instead to spend that time doing something more meaningful - like grocery shopping.  The most intriguing question of the day is whether the Clinton's will show.  Bill and Hillary's presence, as well as their absence, would detract from the beatific glow surrounding Trump.   I predict they will attend - and bring along their new Christmas iPods.

But even so, with the Beach Boys, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and some of the Rockettes all doing their bit to glorify The Donald, it's sure to be one helluva show - a yuuuge show - one that is clearly worthy of our Glorious Leader!

The lions are gathering - bring on the Christians!

No comments: