Disney's Lightning Pass: The Rich Win Again

 

by Pa Rock

Proletariat Citizen Journalist

I have spent an hour or more standing in line on a hot summer afternoon waiting for a five-minute ride at an amusement park, many times, but it's been a while, a good, long while.

Standing in line sucked and nobody enjoyed it, but it was something that we all suffered through together, regardless of the economic strata that we occupied in real life outside of the park gates.  As far as the ride operators were concerned, me and my ragamuffins were no better or no worse than anyone else impatiently waiting to ride the Billy Bob's Insane Cycle of Doom.

But leave it to capitalism to rush in and "fix" the unfairness of rich kids and their parents having to stand in line with poor ones.  Several years ago many amusement parks began offering special passes that would allow the elites, for an extra fee, to go directly to the front of the line and ride  - while the poor goobers stood sweating in the sun and watched.

(It was crap like that which made guillotines so popular during the French Revolution - but I digress.)

Now Disney has announced a special "lightning pass"  that will get guests at the various Magic Kingdoms into a "lightning lane," where they will presumably get "lightning service" and be hustled onto a ride. The lightning passes will vary in cost depending on the park at which they are purchased as well as the date of purchase, with prices (in addition to the regular park entry fee) ranging from over a hundred dollars to over four hundred dollars - for a single person, one-day pass.

(In what is perhaps a nod or a feint to fairness, Disney will limit the use of the lightening passes to one time at each ride in the park.  Of course, that policy will also drag more wealthy people through the park faster and stuff more money into Mickey's fat pocket.)

Special kids from the wealthy suburbs will have special perks, while parents who live and work in the inner cities or the rural backwaters and have saved all year to give their kids one special day at the park, will stand in the sun and watch.

I read a statement on the Internet today which said, "Dignity means healthcare, housing, and education for everyone, no matter who you are."  This is just me talking, but I also think that dignity encompasses an inherent right to the pursuit of happiness, no matter who you are - especially for kids.  Riding the rides at an amusement park makes kids happy, but standing in line watching the rich kids fly by on the rides is not so much fun.

You seem to be ignoring your historic core values, Mickey.  Uncle Walt would not be pleased!