Pinball Wizardry

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

In a spirit somewhat reminiscent of the hysteria that Professor Harold Hill stirred up in River City, Iowa, as he educated the good people of the rural community of the dangerous impact that the game of pool could have on the lives and spiritual well being of their young people, there are some good people in South Carolina today who are equally intent of keeping their state's children safe from the immoral influences of pinball.

At one time in the previous century pinball machines were seen primarily as devices for gambling, close cousins to slot machines.   A person put in a coin, and depending on where the ball landed, either received a payout of a few coins - or ponied up another coin to drop into the slot.  There was no skill involved, except for the occasional jostling of the machine by anxious players, and the result was strictly random, with the odds, of course, being in favor of the house.

But as more people began playing the machines, enhancements were added to make it feel more exciting.  Things like lights, bumpers, and colorful illustrations helped to create excitement and draw in more players.  Then, in 1947, flippers were also added, something which gave players more control and  quickly turned the machines into games of skill rather than just dumb chance.

When the machines had been based on chance and were solely for the purpose of gambling, many states made them illegal, but as they evolved into games of skill, those gambling restrictions began to be dropped.  Today pinball is legal in every state with one very noticeable exception.  In South Carolina it is still illegal for children under the age of eighteen to play the game.  The state has tried twice in the last decade to repeal the anachronistic law which is generally ignored by the public and law enforcement, but both of those efforts failed in the legislature.  A third effort to make playing pinball legal for everyone in the Palmetto State, regardless of their age, is currently underway.  

(There are some new and very nice pinball parlors in the touristy areas of South Carolina, and the owners of those establishments would like to insure that Elliot Ness and his men never come bursting through the doors with their Tommy guns a-blazing!)

My parents and aunt and uncle owned and ran a truck stop in rural Missouri when I was young.  There were three or four pinball machines and a juke box in the cafe side of the business.  Music on the juke box was a nickel a song, or six songs for a quarter, and a game of pinball (five balls) was also a nickel or six games for a quarter.  Once a person put their money in the juke box, it was gone, but an investment in the pinball machine, even though it had flippers and was primarily a game of skill, could pay a profit.  A person could sell their wins to the house. Being a child I don't remember exactly when that ended, or why, but I do remember one time a pinball machine went on the fritz and was producing too many winners.  It was quickly unplugged!

But that was then and this is now - and now we are focused on South Carolina, perhaps the last bastion of decency and morality in all of North America.  Will South Carolina finally join the rest of the world and let its children wallow in the sin and degradation of pinball?  Or, if South Carolina had acted sixty or seventy years ago when other states were succumbing to the lure of the silver ball, would the movie "Tommy" today been known as "Lindsey?"

Life is such a crap shoot.

Pinball Wizard

by The Who

Ever since I was a young boy
I've played the silver ball
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played 'em all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball

He stands like a statue
Becomes part of the machine
Feeling all the bumpers
Always playing clean
He plays by intuition
The digit counters fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball

He's a pinball wizard
There has got to be a twist
A pinball wizard's
Got such a supple wrist

How do you think he does it? I don't know
What makes him so good?

Ain't got no distractions

Can't hear no buzzers and bells
Don't see no lights a-flashin'
Plays by sense of smell
Always gets a replay
Never seen him fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball

I thought I was
The Bally table king
But I just handed
My pinball crown to him

Even on my favorite table
He can beat my best
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest
He's got crazy flipper fingers
Never seen him fall
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball