The Wise Ass

 

by Pa Rock

Reader

Tom McCaffrey is a native New Yorker who spent his first working life as an entertainment lawyer in Manhattan before packing in the busy lifestyle and moving to a small town in Northern Colorado to try a second working life as a writer.  His first novel, "The Wise Ass," was published last year.  It tells the story of a mob lawyer, Jimmy McCarthy, who was also based in New York City and who winds up in the lethal situation of having to testify against his Mafioso boss.  In return for Jimmy literately putting his life - and the life of his wife, Gina - in mortal peril, the FBI places Jimmy and Gina in Witness Protection and shuffles them off to . . . wait for it . . .  a small town in Northern Colorado!

Tom McCaffrey has obviously mastered the first rule of writing fiction - write about what you know.   But he takes his basic knowledge of things like life in New York City, lawyering, and the complications that arise with relocating from the Big Apple to Green Acres, and embellishes it all with truly fine writing.

The description of Jimmy McCarthy, a rather idealistic and certainly pragmatic young public defender whose formal education began in a junior college, slowly being pulled into the heady and moneyed world of doing legal work for the Mafia, is detailed and engrossing.  The transformation comes across as completely believable.

In fact, the New York segment of the novel is all hard-edged and authentic.  That vibe, however, changes dramatically when the couple reach Colorado.  There, in a suburban farmscape somewhere east of Boulder, Jimmy and Gina, step into a new world, one that is far different than anything they expected to encounter.

In Colorado Jimmy and Gina, whose last name has been changed to Moran, meet an oddball cast of characters who could have sprung form the mind of Tom Robbins or Christopher Moore.  There is Lenahan, their FBI handler who himself has been exiled to Northern Colorado by his agency and who seems to make and follow his own rules for protecting his wards.  Lenahan teaches Jimmy and Gina about personal firearms and he also introduces them to Helen, who owns a nice local restaurant, and her  partner/girlfriend, Bobbi, who is on the ethereal spectrum somewhere between psychic medium and witch.  Bobbi can hear the thoughts of others, and she communicates with the dead - including Jimmy's three brothers who were killed by the mob in a failed effort to keep him from testifying.  Bobbi can also cast a terrifying spell when she needs to.

Eddie is Bobbi's older brother who  fought in the wars in the Middle East, came home a hero but suffering from PTSD, dropped out of society for a while and lived on the streets, and finally wound up as a cook in Helen's restaurant.  Eddie is a trained combat veteran and a good person to have on the team when the mob finds out where Jimmy and Gina are hiding.

Everett and Michelle are the cheerful and helpful next door neighbors who can do everything from fixing lawnmowers to helping manage large dinner parties.  They are also extra-terrestrials with an amazing skill set.

And one final important member of the cast is Claire, a talking mule, the Wise Ass.

A talking mule is a bit of a stretch of the imagination, even for those of us who grew up in another time and laughted at the exploits of Francis, another talking mule, and Mister Ed, a talking horse.  But again, the author is a clever and skillful writer who manages to make the outlandish seem possible - and fairly believable.

McCaffrey uses Claire and her backstory to pen some very poignant thoughts about cruelty to animals. Here is a passage that really stuck with me:

"I thought about the redneck I had dealt with who looked upon Claire as just some object to be tossed upon the butcher block when all other uses for her had been spent.  Then I thought about all the other animals I had had contact with during my life, those I loved as pets, and those I had seen since I had arrived in Colorado.  I realized that each of them,  from the largest to the smallest, were sentient beings on this earth, and that their lives deserved the same respect and protection as any human did.  I thought about all of those animals that gave birth to their young, which they love as dearly as any human parent can love its child, solely for the inevitable experience of a frightening death at the end of a chute in a slaughterhouse.  And why?  So that mankind can continue to enjoy the taste of their flesh, or organs, or to wear their skins, or feathers, or fur as an accessory.  The worst thing for me was my knowledge that I was a lifetime offender.  I vowed to change that."

That passage resonated with me.  Another piece that had a strong impact was Michelle, the space alien, speaking about what happens after death - something a friend of mine calls the "universal hum."   I liked it because it meshed with my own thoughts, and my friend's, on the subject:  Michelle explained:

"After all, not to bore you, but it's basic physics.  We are all manifestations of energy, all remnants from that big bang about fourteen billion years ago.  The energy can ultimately be converted, but never destroyed.  It vibrates during different times at different frequencies and our respective reality depends on the frequency at which we are vibrating.  When we pass, it's just another frequency."

And after all of the characters are skillfully introduced and their stories told, there is the inevitable showdown with the Mob, and it, too, is handled skillfully as the whole crew use their special skills to defend Jimmy and Gina.

"The Wise Ass" deepened my concern and compassion for our animal companions on the planet, and it also validated my beliefs about the nature of all life.  But, in addition to making me a better person, "The Wise Ass" also proved to be a very well written story that was highly entertaining.  I suspect that I will, at least for the foreseeable future, spend more time talking to the animals that I encounter and hoping that someday before my frequency changes one of them will engage me in conversation.

I am certain that there is much left for me to learn.

Thank you for sharing your passions and vivid imagination in this exceptional book, Tom McCaffrey!