Ding This!

by Pa Rock

Curmudgeon

I was holding my phone yesterday evening peacefully trashing the junk emails that had accumulated in my in-box since lunch - when the damned thing suddenly dinged at me.  And like Pavlov's dog, I reacted. The ding was to inform me that I had a text message - and I do not like texts, not one little bit.  I email, and I deal with emails on my own schedule.  A text dinging at me means some asshole is demanding my attention right then and there - and that's not the way I roll.  I don't text you, and I damned sure don't want you texting me.  There is something about that insistent ding that drives me into a rage!

I tolerate the occasional texts from relatives because they might be important, but I do not react well to texts from charities or politicians who are looking for donations.  Usually one text reply from me is enough to solve the problem.  I immediately text back this brief message, "No texts, please," and the smart organizations fire back a response apologizing and saying that I have been dropped from their texting lists.  

But there are exceptions.

Yesterday evening's text, the one that got me going, was from Nancy Pelosi - and it was the second one I received from her that day.   I had sent my polite response at the first affront which occurred around noon.  When the second one hit, I was a bit more curt with "No damned texts!"  When Nancy texts later today, as she undoubtedly will, I will suggest to our octogenarian Speaker that she hand her gavel to someone a third of her age - and then move on over to Shady Pines and take up shuffleboard!

When I get my new phone number, which will be sooner rather than later, I will share it only with relatives and my absolute closest friends - and then when the damned phone dings I will still salivate and bark, but at least I will personally know the person I am about to bite!

Bah, humbug!