by Pa Rock
Tweetist
For those wanting to explore the weirdest corners of cyberspace, (and seriously, who hasn't dreamed of that?), Twitter is a good place to start. It is where Donald Trump goes to relieve himself, where flies lay their eggs in the rotting refuse of civilization, and where failed stand-up comics endlessly search for comeback material. Twitter is a labyrinth of deceit, decrepitude, and delusion located somewhere beneath the ground where decent people tread - not Hell itself, but certainly one of the points of interest on the road to Hell.
I know Twitter isn't Hell because "God" hangs around there - and so does his son, "Hunky Gay Jesus." There is also a fellow there most days who goes by the name "Amish Porn Star" whom, I suspect, is bucking to become a Disciple. Celebrities hang out on Twitter, as well as government officials and almost all members of Congress.
I am often in one of the out-of-the-way Twitter taverns where I sit behind a potted palm and yell insults at unsuspecting passers-by. It's not really a productive lifestyle, but hey, I'm a retiree, and I take a perverse enjoyment out of being grossly belligerent.
Sometimes people tend to get carried away on Twitter, and when that happens they are either "blocked" by the party who took offense to what they said - or yelled from behind a potted palm - or they are completely suspended from Twitter for awhile and forced to go live above ground with decent humans. That second process is sometimes called being sent to "Twitter Jail." I have only been blocked once - and not by anyone important - and never sent to Twitter Jail - so I am obviously not as outrageous as I sometimes imagine myself to be.
But last week I was confronted by "The poop bot." After tweeting a response to someone's tweet that posited a list of several things, I responded with these words "And partridge poop in a pear tree." No sooner had that tweet flown, that I received a reply from "The poop bot" informing me that my tweet had been noted by him (her?). "The poop bot," it turns out, retweets tweets that either contain the word "poop" or might have it in the user's profile or user name.
So, for those wanting to insure that their every bejeweled tweet gets the honor of at least one retweet, you might consider changing your user name to include a bit of poop. How does "Pa Poop" sound? @PaPoop? I think it has a certain air to it!
(Note: In researching this piece, I also came across "Frowningpoopbot" who appears to be a Twitter user who only posts tweets that contain references to excrement. Strangely, tweets about Donald Trump did not seem to qualify just on their own merit.)
Tweetist
For those wanting to explore the weirdest corners of cyberspace, (and seriously, who hasn't dreamed of that?), Twitter is a good place to start. It is where Donald Trump goes to relieve himself, where flies lay their eggs in the rotting refuse of civilization, and where failed stand-up comics endlessly search for comeback material. Twitter is a labyrinth of deceit, decrepitude, and delusion located somewhere beneath the ground where decent people tread - not Hell itself, but certainly one of the points of interest on the road to Hell.
I know Twitter isn't Hell because "God" hangs around there - and so does his son, "Hunky Gay Jesus." There is also a fellow there most days who goes by the name "Amish Porn Star" whom, I suspect, is bucking to become a Disciple. Celebrities hang out on Twitter, as well as government officials and almost all members of Congress.
I am often in one of the out-of-the-way Twitter taverns where I sit behind a potted palm and yell insults at unsuspecting passers-by. It's not really a productive lifestyle, but hey, I'm a retiree, and I take a perverse enjoyment out of being grossly belligerent.
Sometimes people tend to get carried away on Twitter, and when that happens they are either "blocked" by the party who took offense to what they said - or yelled from behind a potted palm - or they are completely suspended from Twitter for awhile and forced to go live above ground with decent humans. That second process is sometimes called being sent to "Twitter Jail." I have only been blocked once - and not by anyone important - and never sent to Twitter Jail - so I am obviously not as outrageous as I sometimes imagine myself to be.
But last week I was confronted by "The poop bot." After tweeting a response to someone's tweet that posited a list of several things, I responded with these words "And partridge poop in a pear tree." No sooner had that tweet flown, that I received a reply from "The poop bot" informing me that my tweet had been noted by him (her?). "The poop bot," it turns out, retweets tweets that either contain the word "poop" or might have it in the user's profile or user name.
So, for those wanting to insure that their every bejeweled tweet gets the honor of at least one retweet, you might consider changing your user name to include a bit of poop. How does "Pa Poop" sound? @PaPoop? I think it has a certain air to it!
(Note: In researching this piece, I also came across "Frowningpoopbot" who appears to be a Twitter user who only posts tweets that contain references to excrement. Strangely, tweets about Donald Trump did not seem to qualify just on their own merit.)
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