Monday's Poetry: "To My Valentine"

by Pa Rock
Poetry Appreciator

Valentine's Day, a commercial enterprise whose central purpose is sales of cards, flowers, and candy, is this Wednesday, February 14th.  That also happens to be the birthday of Valerie, my friend in Hawaii, whose mother chose her name to honor the holiday on which she was born.

I recently came across the following poem, "To My Valentine" by the late (and very great) Ogden Nash, and like much of Nash's witty poetry, this one takes a bit of a sideways view of his subject.  Still it is clever, and funny, and somehow manages to convey in non-traditional terms just how much the "poet" loves his Valentine.

Ogden Nash, a denizen of New York City, wrote this poem in 1941, hence the reference to the "Axis."

Prepare to smile.


To My Valentine
by Ogden Nash

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That's how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That's how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That's how you're loved by me.