God-Snarling Goobers Get Gill's Goat

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

This past Sunday as country singer Vince Gill was preparing for a concert at the Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts in downtown Kansas City, a group of professional hecklers from the infamous Westboro Baptist Church (sic) showed up.    The group, which normally protests anything they see as promoting a gay agenda, as well as funerals of America’s fallen military heroes,  had driven over from Topeka to carry signs and let the world know that, in their opinion, Mr. Gill is an adulterer.

The Westboro miscreants, self-anointed morality police for a vengeful and intellectually-challenged God, based their condemnation of Mr. Gill on the fact that he was previously married, divorced, and then married a second time.    One member of the group reasoned that meant Vince Gill was married to another man’s wife.  Of course, his wife, country and gospel singer Amy Grant, was also previously married – a fact that undoubtedly muddies the righteous moral calculations of the God’s doofus scorekeepers.

Vince Gill and Amy Grant have been married (to each other) for thirteen years.

When the protestors showed up on Sunday, they got a bit more attention than they probably expected.  The star himself walked outside prior to his performance and confronted his accusers.  When one of the group asked what he was doing there, he said that he had come out to see what hate looked like.  He also said that it was fortunate for the protestors that none were carrying signs which mentioned his wife.  Before he calmed down and went back inside, Gill had referred to one of the sign-carriers as a “big dipshit” and asked those assembled if any of them were actually Phelpses – or just the “C team.”

A non-profit group calling itself “Planting Peace” is planning a protest event this October that will confront the Phelps clan on their own turf.   The group is going to stage a drag queen show at Equality House in Topeka and then have a parade – a parade that will wend its way directly past the Westboro compound.   It should be a fun time for the whole family!