Monday's Poetry: "Okie From Muskogee"

by Pa Rock
Poetry Appreciator


I hit the scan button on my rental car's radio numerous times today on the long drive from West Plains to Kansas City and got to hear a very interesting variety of music.  As the dial stopped on a country station near Springfield, Merle Haggard's signature song, "Okie from Muskogee" began playing - a live, shit-kicking version of the redneck anthem!

"Okie from Muskogee" came out in 1969 while I was still an undergraduate in college.  It was Haggard's sarcastic response to the 1967's Summer of Love in San Francisco, 1969's Woodstock, hippies, draft-dodgers, sit-ins, love-ins, and a hundred other things that the hillbilly singer couldn't understand.  And even though the song is wrong on so many levels, it was and still is easy to sing and drink to.

I currently don't have "Okie from Muskogee" on my little iPod, but I would like to have the live version that I heard today  I do have Kinky Friedman's version of "Asshole from El Paso," and have posted those lyrics below today's selection.  Please enjoy both - taken together they contain something to offend almost everyone!

Okie from Muskogee
by Merle Haggard and R. Burns


We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee;
We don't take our trips on LSD
We don't burn our draft cards down on Main Street;
We like livin' right, and bein' free.

I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
A place where even squares can have a ball
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
And white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all

We don't make a party out of lovin';
We like holdin' hands and pitchin' woo;
We don't let our hair grow long and shaggy,
Like the hippies out in San Francisco do.

And I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogee,
A place where even squares can have a ball.
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
And white lightnin's still the biggest thrill of all.

Leather boots are still in style for manly footwear;
Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen.
Football's still the roughest thing on campus,
And the kids here still respect the college dean.

We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse,
In Muskogee, Oklahoma, USA.




Asshole from El Paso
by Chinga Chavin and Kenny "Snakebite" Jacobs


We don`t have no lovin`s in El Paso 
We don`t go to porno picture shows 
We don`t swap our wives with our neighbors 
And we keep our kids away from Mexico. 

And I`m proud to be an asshole from El Paso 
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered. 
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos 
Ta-ta-ta-tacos 
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour. 

We don`t wipe our asses on Old Glory, 
God and Lone Star beer are things we trust. 
We keep our women virgins till they`re married 
So hosin` sheep is good enough for us. 

And I`m proud to be an asshole from El Paso 
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered. 
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos 
Ta-ta-ta-tacos 
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour. 

I`m proud to be an asshole from El Paso 
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered. 
You walk down that street knee-deep in tacos 
Ta-ta-ta-tacos 
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour