The Safeway Shuffle

by Pa Rock
Cautious Consumer

First of all, my back still hurts; it hurts bad, and I know that the pain has served to sharpen my tongue. I had a medicated pad on my back today that a friend loaned me, received a pig flu shot, and spent three hours and forty minutes in the dentist's chair - and managed to make between four and five of his upcoming Hummer payments!

So with a day like that, I should never have gone into the grocery store. But I did it anyway.

The Safeway Store was right on my way home and I needed cat food. Well, actually Scroungy Bastard needed the cat food, and I needed to keep my kitty happy. The Safeways in the West Valley are nicer than most of the local grocery stores - and pricier. I went there knowing that I would have my pocket picked by corporate America, but I at least hoped to get a nice shopping experience for my money.

That didn't happen - and, again, some of the reason was probably because my back was really hurting.

Two weeks ago Friskies canned cat food at that very store was eight cans for four dollars - extrapolated out, that would be ten cans for five dollars. Not a bad price for bad meat. This time there were signs up saying the price had been "cut" from seventy cents a can to sixty cents a can - or ten cans for six dollars! What a deal! Of course Arizona schools are among the worst in the nation (Thank you Superintendent of Schools Tom Horne!), so many shoppers couldn't figure out that they were being screwed - but Pa Rock knew!

Then I hit the cereal aisle looking for something healthy. Fat chance! The only non-pre-sweetended selections that I could come up with were corn flakes, grape nuts, and Cheerios. One sugar-soaked kiddie confection that had a trace element of something that might or might not help the body build immunity had the gall to post a big sign saying that this cereal made good health sense. What a load of sweet crap! It is no wonder that we are raising a nation of obese kids with bad teeth. Of course, it may help Hummer sales!

After that I went shopping for sliced American cheese. The Safeway had sliced processed cheese food - ugh! - but no sliced real American cheese.

After putting back the baked turkey breast that I couldn't afford due to the "bargain" on cat food, I achingly pushed my cart to the finish line - where a way-too-perky cashier asked me how I was doing! Poor lady, she won't be making that mistake again!