Take the Money and Run!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston was born this past Saturday to Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson in Palmer, Alaska. The lead-up to Baby Tripp’s birth was the grist of gossip magazines and cable “news” for months, making him one of this year’s most anticipated arrivals.

Tripp was awarded instant celebrity status due to his notorious family connections. (As the old saying goes: you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family!) His father is a self-described “fuckin’ redneck” who dropped out of high school and likes to party. One of his grandmothers ran for Vice President of the United States on the Neiman Marcus ticket and believes that Africa is a country and that dinosaurs and man walked the earth at the same time – a couple of thousand years ago! His other granny was recently arrested for drug dealing.

So with all of those cards stacked against him, little Tripp deserves to get a couple of breaks in life. There was a report in the news today that his mother will be offered up to $300,000 for his baby pictures. That’s great. I, for one, hope she gets that much or more. She could use that money to raise her son on her own without feeling forced to marry her “fuckin’ redneck” boyfriend. She could set a good chunk of it aside in order to guarantee a college education for Tripp – and perhaps use some of it for her own college education. She could also use the money to slip from the public eye before the behaviors of either of Tripp’s grandmothers begin to escalate.

Take the money, Bristol. Put it in the bank and spend it judiciously. Don't let the grammies use to it hire campaign help or defense lawyers. Don't let Baby Daddy have it for fast cars or fast living. Use it to build a secure life for yourself and little Tripp, and let his whack-job relatives take care of themselves. Tripp needs you, and you need the security and independence that $300,000 can offer.