by Rocky Macy
“Sprung Hinge, USA, is so laid back” brags a leading citizen, “it’s a wonder the streets don’t run sideways!” That appraisal comes from Rusty Pails, local auction expert and the town’s most entrenched bachelor.
Rusty and his steadfast hound, Baker, live in a comfortable cabin at the edge of town. It’s a simple existence, fueled by baloney and onion sandwiches awash in cold root beer, and punctuated with auctions, dominoes, and peculiar adventures. But Rusty wouldn’t get into much trouble, nor have much fun, if it weren’t for his buddies. Take for example…
Shadetree Mike. He might claim to own the “Pump and Git,” but it’s Ermine, the Missus, that does the work. Mike spends his days directing gossip at the domino table at the Pump and Git, and he is generally oblivious to his meal ticket, even in moments of intimacy – like when she lifts his feet to mop! Ermine has discovered that inviting her mother, “the Duke” for a visit will set Mike to moving – with bag and baggage – down the lane to Rusty’s cabin. And then there’s…
Heck Frye, another of Rusty’s cohorts. He occasionally falls from the grace of bachelorhood into the tar pit of marriage, but those bouts with matrimony are always short-lived. Heck has met many judges, but his favorite is…
Judge Rufus T. Redbone. Although Judge Redbone isn’t qualified to handle Heck’s marriages or divorces, the Grand High Road Commissioner of Sprung Hinge is adroit at chewing up local situations and spitting out popular responses. This seasoned politician is quick to blame Washington bureaucrats for any bad news, even the weather! No one, however, knows who to blame for…
Truman Treetopper, a senior citizen who stretches his meager means tighter than the head on the new town drum. Truman is continually broke. But it doesn’t cost anything to go along for the ride, and that’s where you’ll usually find Truman – barreling into trouble with Rusty and the rest of the boys! Sometimes their escapades are even co-ed. Just consider…
Gladys Clench and the ladies of the “Sprung Hinge Sewing Circle and Bucket Brigade.” These desperate females have only one aim in life – to hog-tie Rusty Pails and get him happily married, whether he likes it or not! Leastways, that’s how Rusty sees it, but then…
Rusty Pails does see things his own way. For a closer look at life according to Rusty, be sure to read Doin’ the Sales with Rusty Pails in this blog.
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