We Don't Talk That Way in Tulsa

by Rocky Macy

Today I found a naughty word,
I picked it up at school.
And when I said it to my friends,
They all thought I was cool!

After recess my teacher asked me
To describe a certain bird.
But when I opened my mouth to do it,
Out fell that naughty word!

My teacher gasped and stammered
As she said for all to hear,
“We don’t talk that way in Tulsa.
You must go see Missus Fear!”

Missus Fear, the principal, asked what I had done.
Had I been a bully, or did I throw a rock?
When I opened my mouth to tell her,
We both got quite a shock!

The principal huffed and powder-puffed
And proclaimed that I’d gone wild.
“We don’t talk that way in Tulsa.
You’ve become a problem child!”

Missus Fear called my mother
Who left work to come to school.
And when my mother heard my word,
She wasn’t very cool!

“We don’t talk that way in Tulsa!”
My mother yelled at me.
“And if you think we do,
Well …well…well…”

And there it was, another naughty word,
Alive and kicking, loud and clear!
Maybe they don’t talk that way in Tulsa,
But that’s not exactly what I hear!