Tuesday, January 14, 2020

One Million Moms are Becoming a Damn Joke - and so is Paula White!

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Last month Hallmark found itself in the midst of a controversy when an evangelical Christian group calling itself "One Million Moms" got all self-righteous and indignant over a Hallmark television ad which featured a same-sex marriage.  Heavens to Betsy Ross those mothers were offended!  They. did not want their spawn exposed anything that portrayed gay individuals as "normal."  What the heck was the world coming to!

One Million Moms is a division of a broader evangelical Christian grouping calling itself the American Family Association (AFA) which has been labeled a "hate group" by the civil rights and liberties watchdog group, the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC).

Hallmark initially responded by pulling the offending commercial, but then after some rational thought - and perhaps some quick polling - had a change of heart and put it back up.  Those mothers probably bought their greeting cards at the dollar stores anyway!

But you can't keep a good hate group down.

Now One Million Moms have mustered their rage and are taking on the hamburger giant, Burger King!  The burger chain recently posted a commercial in which a man bites into one of it's new meatless "Impossible" burgers and responds with "Damn, that's good."   And One Million Moms polished their stingers for a mass attack, targeting the commercial for its use of a "cuss" word.

Puh...leeze!

First of all, the offending word, in this case "damn," has been a fairly acceptable part of the national vocabulary ever since Margaret Mitchell stuffed it into Rhett Butler's fictional mouth nearly a century ago when she had him tell Scarlett O'Hara that he frankly did not give a damn!

So what made these million mothers so damn mad in the first place?  Could it be that with every phony show of outrage, the American public gets curiouser and curiouser about them, and the things that America is learning about One Million Moms is not fitting in well with the image that the group is trying to project.

Americans are beginning to learn that One Million Moms has a functioning staff of about one individual, and her name is Monica Cole.  Anything emanating from the group has her prints all over it - and, in fact, she seems to be the entire home office.

And the clear implication from the group's name alone appears to indicate a membership of at least one million angry mothers.  Again, puh...leeze!  Here is one big clue, the organization's official Twitter account (@1milmoms) has a following of 4,710 as of this morning - and you have to assume that some of those are spies from the press and the outside world who want to monitor this group of whack-job extremists.

But keep this standards high, Monica - and anyone else who is actually in the group!

Here is what One Million Moms officially released regarding Burger King:


"Burger King's Impossible Whopper ad is irresponsible and tasteless.  It is extremely destructive and damaging to impressionable children viewing the commercial - we all know children repeat what they hear."


Well, damn.

And I guess we are all left to wonder why a million angry mothers did not get bent out of shape at all when Donald Trump's "grab them by the pussy" remark on  Access Hollywood made its way into countless American homes - where it bounced off of the ear drums of children everywhere.

Of course Trump can say whatever he wants because he is scheduled to ride into Armageddon on a big golden horse - next to Jesus.   But that evangelical fantasy, promoted by Trump personal spiritual adviser Paula White, will have to wait for another Ramble because Pa Rock's hand cramps are acting up.

Heal me, Paula, heal me!

No comments: