Friday, January 24, 2020

Heads on Pikes

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

The Republican senators who find themselves sitting in judgment on the misadventures and criminal actions of Donald John Trump have no fear at all of the Democrats who are presenting the damning impeachment case.  The Democrats are, after all, just the small potatoes in the large cauldron of political stew.  What gets the attention of Republican senators are the threats of reprisal coming from members of their own political party - and particularly threats directly from the White House.

Just yesterday, as a matter of fact, a beaut of a threat came down the pike Pennsylvania Avenue from the bowels of the White House.  Though no one is saying exactly how or from whom, a threat identified as being from Trump reached GOP senators and warned that if any voted against him, they would find their heads "on a pike."

That sent a lot of word jockeys scurrying to their dictionaries.  Just what the heck is a "pike," anyway?

The most common definition reveals a "pike" as a fish - a long-bodied, predatory, freshwater fish with a pointed snout and large teeth.  And while it took a fair amount of concentrated imagineering, I finally was able to create a mental picture of a long, vicious-looking fish with Ol' Roy Blunt's deeply furrowed face enhanced by Freddie Mercury's jackass teeth.  It was easy to see why Republican senators would be fearful of having their heads on pikes!

Another internet dictionary source suggested that a "pike" was a member of the Pi Kappa Alpha social fraternity that is represented on many college campuses.  Because many male Republican senators already have their heads sitting atop the aging bodies of vacuous frat boys, I doubted that was the definition that I was seeking.

But then my perusal of decapitation literature led me further afield into the realm of medieval torture.  Back in the Dark Ages, long before television and Facebook, people had to get their laughs in other ways, and sometimes that involved the torture and butchering of their fellow human beings.   A standard form of warning several hundred years ago was to lob off the heads of enemies and then prominently display them on spikes.

But why not say "spike?"  What the heck was a "pike?"

Finally, I came across another dictionary site which described a 'pike" as a "long, spear-like weapon that infantry troops used in the medieval and Renaissance eras.

And that made sense.  The Trump administration was threatening to decapitate GOP senators who were insufficiently loyal and to place their heads on the ends of war spears - as a warning to others to never deny Jesus Trump.

After all of the work involved in figuring out exactly what this threat meant, I quickly surmised that it could not possibly have been the work of a person with a fourth grade vocabulary, so someone else was making threats in the boss's name.  But who?

I'm not saying that this dark ages' threat came from someone who is a regular at the never-ending game of Dungeons and Dragons that is being played in the most remote corner of the White House basement by witch and warlock wannabes who should be upstairs writing press releases and plotting against immigrants and people of color.  No, I'm not saying that at all.    But anyone who does say that had best be careful because they could wind up with their head on a pike and a mouthful of Freddie Mercury's teeth!

The Trump White House does not play games - at least outside of the basement!

No comments: