Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Trump Channels Rambo, Comes Off as Dumbo

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

While our country's first president reportedly never told a lie, the current occupant of the White House seems to be defined by the fact that he seldom tells the truth.  The wanton untruths uttered by Donald John Trump are so numerous and unrelenting that they form a wall of noise rather than any type of sensible public discourse.   The old adage of "If his lips are moving, he's lying," fits Trump to a golden golf tee.

Donald Trump is one of those people who lies even when it serves no purpose.  Lying is his comfort zone.  That seems to be a primary reason that his lawyers do not want him to testify in the Mueller investigation - a fear that he would lie under oath as much out of habit as for any other more practical reason.

The Washington Post has been tracking and counting Trump's lies since he was sworn into office, and that number is now well in excess of two thousand.

Yesterday Donald John made a statement that, while technically not a lie because it has yet to be tested, still has the feel of being among the biggest whoppers he has ever uttered.  Trump told the nation's governors who were gathered at the White House that if he had been at Parkland High school when the shooting broke out on Valentine's Day, that he would have "run in there, even if I didn't have a weapon."

Have mercy!  Sit tight all of you kids and teachers hiding in closets and under desks.  The Trump Man is coming - he's charging up the stairs and will come crashing through the door to save you from the pain and suffering of bullets ripping through your flesh and shattering your bones!

And he doesn't even have a weapon.

Comedian Stephen Colbert commented that Trump, a five-time draft dodger, was perhaps planning on taking out the shooter by stabbing him with his bone spurs.  Others have noted Trump's aversion to climbing stairs and questioned his ability to come running to the rescue - or his ability to run anywhere for that matter.

But Trump would have saved the day, or he would have suffered grievous bodily injury trying - even without a gun.  What a man!  I haven't felt this safe since Joe Arpaio and actor Steven Seagal drove Joe's army tank through the yard of an Arizona man suspected of cockfighting - and ran over the family's puppy!

Presidential press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders later explained that Trump wasn't actually saying what he said, and that by saying he would have rushed into the building unarmed, what he really meant was that he would have provided leadership at the scene.   Right, Sarah!  Or perhaps what he meant was that he would have passed around a platter of thoughts and prayers with a side of cute little Russian cookies.

His lips were moving - so who knows what he meant?

Maybe in Trump's next life he can revel in the excitement of being a security guard at a shopping mall - perhaps in Florida - maybe with a gun - and possibly even a bullet.  God knows he would be better suited for that than he is for his current job.

No comments: