Thursday, November 16, 2017

Is Your Bible Autographed?

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

The other day I came across a news tidbit on the Internet which claimed that God's man in the backwoods of Alabama, Judge Roy Moore, occasionally autographs Bibles for his fan-billies.  That was a bit on the presumptive side, I thought, but wanting to be fair to a jurist who has been known for being fair to so many others,  I sought out confirmation of this odd activity - a behavior that some might consider blasphemous.  Unfortunately, the only corroboration I could come up with were a couple of tweets that made the same allegation.

So forget I said anything about it at all.

But tweets are often news themselves. Take for example the tweets of Donald Trump, many of which are total rubbish - yet reputable news outlets tend to repeat them as though they had just come down the mountain with Moses.

So forget that part about forgetting I said anything at all.  I believe the women who have accused Roy Moore of being a child-molesting pervert, so I guess I can also believe that he signs books for God.  It's not that much of a stretch.  Mitch McConnell believes the women, too - and so apparently does Sean Hannity now that he has seen the light - the one shining through his lack of advertisers.

Roy Moore has a long and complicated relationship with God, so perhaps it is possible that the deity wants Roy signing his Big Book.  Moore, a theocrat, believes the United States Constitution is an inferior document to the word of God as presented in the Bible and interpreted by Roy Moore.  In the spirit of the country's best evangelical hucksters, he established a foundation - the Foundation for Moral Law - to promote his views and accept love offerings of cash donations.   Moore has paid himself a hefty salary of $180,000 a year for five years from the money that the group takes in from the rubes.  Moore's wife, Kayla, (fourteen years his junior) is the president of the Foundation for Moral Law.  It is currently unclear just how well Roy Moore and his family are living off of the Foundation for Moral Law because the group is a couple of years behind on filing its taxes - and taxes are a clear example of Man's Law interfering with the Law of God.  Senator Roy Moore could help fix that.

One thing that I did learn through my Bible-signing research is that former Arkansas Governor and Baptist minister, Mike Huckabee, does have a history of autographing Bibles - and there are photographs on the Internet of him doing it!  That might be the basis of a good question for Sarah Huckabee Sanders at the next Presidential press briefing.  Heck, her boss might even want to get in on the act, especially if he could turn a few bucks by doing it.

Autographed Bibles.  I sense an emerging racket!

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