Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The Republican Parade Is Forming Up

by Pa Rock
Political Observer

While Hillary Clinton and her loyal lemmings in the Democratic Party may not officially have much going on as she quietly prepares for her second presidential slugfest - with an official announcement not expected until this April - the same cannot be said of the Republicans.  Though none of Righteous Right have officially declared their candidacy, several bold political moves are already being made as party stalwarts and extremists prepare to slaughter each other in wee hours of the presidential election season.

Jeb Bush started making noises about running early, even going so far as the silence his mother after she began prattling on about the country not needing another Bush as President.  Mama's prescience aside, Jeb wants the honor and responsibility of leading our nation - and he wants it bad.   It's sad that he is the third Bush to actively seek the office, because from the abysmal records of his father and brother, he could have most likely been the one to experience some success as President.

But the country does not need or deserve another President from the Bush family - and it certainly does not need to struggle through another Bush-Clinton national election.

Mitt Romney had been playing it coy about running again, although he has clearly felt for some time that he has a sort of divine right to be President of the United States.   Up until recently, in fact, Romney was openly denying any remaining presidential aspirations.  He saw the crazies lining up for a grab at the Republican nomination, and undoubtedly felt that when the shit storm subsided, he would be the sole-remaining rich, white, paternalistic symbol of all that is holy within the GOP.

But then Jeb, another old, rich, white guy from a strong political family started making real noises about running and Romney had to slip off his Italian loafers, don some good old American track shoes, and get into the race.  So far he is just saying he may run - which is candidate-speak for "get the hell out of my way because I'm coming through!"

So those are the two guys on the royalty float, Jeb and Mitt, but one royalty float does not a whole parade make.  Those two coddled creatures of pampered privilege will have to share the event with a whole succession of second and third-tier wannabes.

The second tier will include those who were born with less financial preparation to be President, but who still harbor a flaming desire to control the lives of others.    Rick Perry is marching in the second tier.  Perry, the former governor of Texas is a Bible-spewing Christian who is staunchly pro-life while holding the record for overseeing more executions than any other governor in the history of the United States.  Another Texan (of sorts), Senator Ted Cruz also has a strong intention to run for President.   The Canadian-born Cruz whose mother was from Ireland and father was from Cuba, is rabidly anti-immigrant.

At least two other United States senators, Rand Paul of Kentucky and Marco Rubio of Florida, can also be counted on to be marching in the second tier of the Republican presidential parade.  Another candidate whom some would consider second-tier material is former governor of Arkansas Mike Huckabee.  Reverend Huckabee, who has for the past few years been a Fox News instigator, got off to a good start in the 2008 race, but sat out 2012 opting instead for the steady paycheck and on-air time from Fox.

The third tier is the out-and-out clowns, those who have no serious path to winning and probably don't want to anyway.  They are in it for the notoriety and the ready cash.   Sarah Palin has already announced that she may run this year, and her early entry into the race could conceivably put her at the wheel of the clown car.  Riding shotgun will likely be billionaire loudmouth Donald Trump, a man who suffers daily from bad hair.  Trump has also issued his pre-announcement warning that he is about to throw his toupee into the ring.

And there are, of course, a host of others.  New Jersey governor Chris Christie will be trying desperately to climb onto the royalty float, but the political bully is weighed down by a scandal that just won't die.   John Kasich, the current Republican governor of Ohio, is being touted by some as a respectable alternative to all of the others that the party is stuck with, but Republicans never seem to put much value on respectability.

Be that as it may, while the ultimate election may be Hillary's to lose - regardless of whom she is paired up against - the Republicans will put on a heck of a show as their parade slowly and painfully winds its way toward the national convention.  And that is something we all can enjoy!

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