God, it would appear, is seriously pissed - and she is flinging her wrath down upon inhabitants of a rural belt around Cincinnati, Ohio. Back in the year of our Lord, 2010, in the month of June, she took out a sixty-two foot statue of her boy, Jesus Christ, with a hot bolt of lightening. The King of Kings Statue, also known as "Touchdown Jesus," featured the Messiah sitting cross-legged on the ground with his arms extended wide and high into the air. While it may have seemed a bit whimsical to some, God obviously was not amused.
Yesterday God let loose another lightening bolt - this time fifty-one road-miles from the charred spot where Touchdown Jesus once held court. Her focus was on the Creationism Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. One employee was injured while clearing people off of the "museum's" Zip Line. That person apparently touched something that had been electrified by lightening.
It's a miracle, we must suppose, that God missed the Zip Line itself, where a bunch of dim-witted, over-cooked, tourists would have been left dangling from a wire like a string of macabre, burned out Christmas lights.
In addition to the Zip Line, the "museum" also has a wealth of manufactured materials to back up the biblical story of creation, including some really cool plastic dinosaurs that are ideal props for family photos.
Current admission prices are: $15.95 for children aged 5-12, $29.95 for adults aged 13-59, and a senior bargain for those over 60 at just $23.95.
At those prices, they'd better have a Zip Line - and maybe even a bar!