Thursday, August 22, 2013

Gearing Up to Slow Down

by Pa Rock
Time Traveler 

The last time I actually resided in a small town, a really small town, was the year 2004.  The intervening years I have been in communities with plenty of places to shop and lots to do.  Why then, did I opt to return to Hooterville?

It sounded like such a wonderful idea at the time, and actually still does.  My little retirement farm will provide me with the opportunity to be near family, four distinct seasons, rain - glorious rain, fresh organic eggs by the basketful, days where the biggest crisis will be figuring out where the dog disappeared to, and, of course, green acres in mad abundance.

But as I gear up for the tranquility of retirement in the country, I am beginning to be reminded of some aspects of small town life that I had forgotten, peculiarities, if you will.  The most striking anachronism is the fact that some of the businesses with whom I most communicate by long distance cannot email documents, forcing me to look for a fax machine. The guy who sprays for pests can't accept payment over the phone - which I can sort of understand because he is a genuine small businessman who appears to be his own bookkeeper.   (Send the check, please.)  However, then I learn that City Utilities also cannot accept my hook-up fee over the phone.  (Fortunately I have a son in the area who can walk in with the cash.)

Everyday I learn a few more rustic oddities about life in the country.  I'm not sure yet whether I'll have to climb the telephone pole in the front yard in order to make a call, but I'll be ready to do it just in case.  And if I have trouble finding someone to play checkers with, one of the neighbors might have a talking pig with time on his hooves.

I am so anxious to retire and get the hell out of Phoenix!


Xobekim said...

A little known fact is that you can mount an external antenna on the roof or other suitably high structure that plugs into your cell phone.

The good news is the wild increase in coverage. The bad news is that you have to use the cell phone like the old land line, so it can physically connect to the antenna wire.

Land lines, home fax machines, say do they still make those things?

Don said...

Hard to imagine why you'd leave Arizona when Jan Brewer has finally relented.

Faced with the reality of Obamacare and the huge number of voters it would provide with health care, she's decided to offer her own version. I forget what she called it, but it's nothing more than the repackaged federal program.

What could be more appealing?

molly. said...

Remember when we got by without cell phones & long distance calls were avoided because you never knew how much it was costing you? Remember when email didn't exist and the only option was snail mail and at least a 2 day waiting period before your message arrived? Those days were still really good. You'll be fine. In fact I bet you will end up more relaxed and with much more time to write. My guess is that the positives will greatly outweigh the negatives and that after all of your journeys you will finally arrive home.