Santa Claus Does Aldi's

by Pa Rock
Local Yokel

My youngest son, Tim, is a writer - and one who has been successful to the point that he has actually made money from his writing and created work that will live on long after he is gone.   As I have mentioned in this space numerous times in the past, Tim has been the primary screenwriter on two full-length motion pictures, The Brass Teapot and Lost Child, both of which have received some national acclaim and been featured on multiple streaming sites.

On Tuesday of this week I noticed that The Brass Teapot was again streaming on Amazon Prime under their heading of "recently added" films, and I pushed out an announcement of that fact to several dozen people on my personal email list.  (The Brass Teapot is a comedy built around a moral dilemma, and it is based on a short story that Tim wrote and published several years ago.  The movie was filmed in 2011 and premiered at the Toronto Film Festival in 2012 where it was purchased for distribution by Mark Cuban's Magnolia Pictures.)

Because I had not communicated with many of the individuals on my email list in quite some time, I decided to also use that email to catch up on what little personal news I had been accumulating.  I mentioned that I hadn't had a haircut since the pandemic began in February, and that now I have shoulder-length white hair.  I also informed the group that I had broken my right arm in late May and had been unable to shave over the summer, leading to the creation of my first ever beard, a thick affair - also white - which, after my arm finally began healing, I decided to keep, at least for the time-being.   I further noted that one of my doctors had recently told me that I was beginning to look like Santa Claus.  

Yesterday afternoon I dressed up nicely - for me - in a pair of paint-spattered white shorts, a green and yellow "Portland, Oregon" tee-shirt, and sandals with socks - and headed into town to go grocery shopping.  When I arrived at Aldi's I put on my black mask (which served to highlight the white beard more than it did to hide it), pulled a fresh disinfectant wipe out of the plastic canister that is always with me, and headed into the store to do my shopping as quickly as possible.  

(Aldi's has a policy requiring everyone in the store - customers and employees - to wear masks, but they do not stop those who push their way in without masks and endanger those of us who follow rules and try to behave in a responsible manner.)

As I was pushing my cart around the store and concentrating on finding the things on my list, an older woman, about my age, who was also wearing a mask, stepped up to me and said, "I just want you to know how much it pleases me to see that Santa Claus wears a mask when he's out in public!"

That's a true story!

I thanked her, burped a chirpy "ho, ho, ho," and smiled beneath my mask the rest of the time I was in the store!

I may have some fun with my new look, at least for awhile, but don't expect to see me climbing down any chimneys!