Republicans Declare War on Brown Babies

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

All of the so-called political experts are falling all over each other predicting how the Republicans are going to sweep the elections in November.  Why, they belch, the GOP might even regain control of the House of Representatives, making John of Orange Boehner the next Speaker!

That is just so much drivel and nonsense.  I personally would be surprised in the Republicans make any gains in November.  Why?  Because as a party, they are just getting stupider and crazier. 

For example: 

Sharron Angle, the "interesting" Senate candidate from Nevada, seems to believe that God has chosen her to run for the Senate against Harry Reid.  She is not overly literate on the subject of the Constitution, but she appears to be really up on her Ten Commandments, harping that our government is, in an of itself, idolatrous.  She believes that rape and incest are not sufficient reasons for allowing an abortion, and that some eleven-year-old girl who is impregnated by her father is carrying a gift from God.  (It's true - you can't make shit like this up.)

Rand Paul, the Republican/Libertarian candidate for Senate from Kentucky has problems with the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and doesn't seem to believe that government should be able to keep businesses from discriminating on the basis of race.  Dr. Paul (who lied about being a board certified opthalmologist) is opposed to most government subsidies for most things - except, of course, government handouts to physicians - a group that he believes are entitled to make a comfortable living.  And then their is that pesky story that just surfaced in GQ about...well, it's too bizarre for me to recount here.

Michele Bachmann, the whack-job Congressman from Minnesota, never misses an opportunity to look foolish, and now, like Sarah Palin, she is flying around the country "helping" other Republicans.  Michele doesn't like big government either, and she also opposes government subsidies - except perhaps for those very fat government payments that go to her family farm.

Michelle Bachmann was recently making robo-calls in Missouri for Republican senate candidate Roy Blunt.  Blunt is leaving the House of Representatives after a lackluster career as the Minority Whip - the guy who hands John of Orange Boehner the toilet paper when he needs to wipe.  Blunt, a former good Baptist and President of Southwest Baptist University (sic) in Bolivar, MO, went to Washington and promptly divorced his wife of many years.   He took up with a tobacco lobbyist whom he has since married.  One of his sons is also a tobacco lobbyist.  Lucky for him that he has such good ties in the lobbying community, because he is going to be looking for work come November.  Kit Bond's Missouri Senate seat will be a gain for the Democrats on election day - thank you, Robin Carnahan!

Sarah Palin is, of course, peddling books and her speaking wisdom to the suckers who think she is relevant.  Her relevance will be quantified on election day, and the number will be dismal - for her.  She will have to go back to Alaska and be content hunting baby seals from a helicopter!

And now...now there is a movement afoot in the Republican Party to amend the 14th Amendment - the one written by the Republican Congress just after the close of the Civil War - the one granting citizenship to all people born in this country.  The 14th Amendment is probably the high water mark in the entire history of the Republican Party, and today's tea-bagging boneheads want to change it!  The issue is, of course, the children born to undocumented workers, particularly those from Mexico - the one's that the tea-baggers like to refer to as "anchor" babies.  Being born in the United States does make those children citizens, but it still does not confer citizenship on their parents. 

But those babies are brown, and the Republican Party - the party that was once home to the Great Emancipator - today's Republican Party has a strong and distinct preference for white.

The Republican's are opposed to brown babies, but they will encourage the unlimited production of white babies - even through incest!

Stir into the mix the fact that Barack Obama is still very popular and is a butt-kicking campaigner, and the Republican promise of a sweep in November is little more than smoke and mirrors.  It ain't a-gonna happen!