Ozarks Getaway

by Pa Rock
Native Son

Early tomorrow morning I will board a jet plane and head for the hills - the beautiful Ozarks of southwest Missouri. I will be going home to Noel, MO, to visit with my dad and see how he is doing. My sons and oldest grandson will also be there, so it should be a very nice four-day weekend.

Some of my trip will focus on checking out my small farm on Old Pine Trail. It is sadly vacant (I refuse to rent my green haven), so I will have to knock down the cobwebs and give the place a good mow. My little farm, aptly named Rock's Roost, is the most serene spot in the Ozarks, and I miss it terribly - especially every time I step outside here in Aridzona and into the bowels of hell!

Noel has several claims to fame. It is nestled along the Elk River, the first floatable river south of Kansas City. There is only one decent motel with just fifteen or so rooms, but the area abounds in nice campgrounds that will put you in a canoe or kayak at a very affordable rate for a day of floating down the river. It's a wonderful way to enjoy the summer weekends.

Noel was the home to a Hollywood crew and cast in 1939 when Henry Fonda, Tyrone Power, and Nancy Kelly all called the little town their temporary home while the movie, Jesse James, was filmed in various locations throughout McDonald County.

Kate Smith, the singer, formed an attachment to the small town in the 1940's after several residents got together and sent her a very large birthday cake. She talked about Noel on her radio program several times after that. In 1969 some boxcars filled with fertilizer on a Kansas City Southern train exploded one hot August night and nearly leveled the town. One person was killed, and several others were severely maimed.

And then there were the escaped convicts from Kansas who hopped a freight train in the early 1980's and decided to hop off when they got to Noel. They played cat-and-mouse with several law enforcement agencies throughout the town and its rustic environs for several days before finally being captured in a boxcar of another train as they were ending their Ozark vacation!

I'm anxious to get home - as if you can't tell!

Monday's Poetry: "The Studs of McDonald County"

by Pa Rock
Poetry Appreciator

Today’s poem recognizes and illustrates the talent of Joan Yeagley, a poet from my home, McDonald County, Missouri. While Joan and I lived for a time just a few miles apart, I have only met her once, and that was briefly.

The following selection, The Studs of McDonald County, is from her 1987 collection of poetry of the same name. Studs was published by BkMk Press at the University of Missouri at Kansas City. The volume contains many poetic vignettes of rural Ozark life. I particularly like The Studs of McDonald County because it succinctly captures the struggle of male youth as they leap from the nest in full glory, only to be tamed by their women and brought back to the sensible world of local and mundane expectations. It also gives a nostalgic view of summer afternoons in the beautiful creeks and rivers of McDonald County.

Our dreams are funny things. If one doesn’t pay attention every minute, they tend to slip away. Several years ago I visited with one of my former foster kids in the Vernon County (Missouri) jail. He was enroute to the Missouri penitentiary. As our emotional visit was coming to an end, the young man got up and hugged me. And then he said, “Rocky, I never intended for this to happen to me.” He was a McDonald County stud whose dreams had been dashed.

The Studs of McDonald County
by Joan Yeagley

Summer boys down from haying,
Wheeze red dust,
Spit the raw stink of mown grass
And take the beach,
Capsizing with obscenities
A gentle generation of grandmothers
Porked in their inner-tubes.
Unzipping with the cheek of young Zeus,
They peel marble white legs of its skin of jeans,
Stow boots in the crotch of a tree.
Male grace
In the bronze loop of neck, shoulder, arm;
Civil War in the thigh;
They plunge.
From their beachhead on the granite buttes,
They pepper the girls with propositions,
Woo them with breakneck leaps
Then strafe the beach with insults.
The girls are cooler,
Will marry them down
And live in Carthage or Joplin.

Do Not Feed Cynthia Davis!

by Pa Rock
Unmotivated Hearty Eater

Stephen Colbert outed a Missouri nitwit on his Colbert Report last night. The sardonic comedian revealed that Missouri State Representative Cynthia Davis (R-19) opposed subsidizing school lunches for low income children. Her "logic" was her belief that "hunger can be a positive motivator."

Colbert said that one in five Missouri children live in hunger - and that number is way too conservative - take it from this former resident and state child protective worker. He also noted that Rep. Davis has never risen above the rank of state representative, and he suggested that was possibly because she had developed the unmovitating habit of eating. He recommended that Missourians band together in an effort to deny her food.

What an excellent suggestion!

Being basically a life-long resident of the show-me state, I felt an uncontrollable urge to write to Rep. Cynthia Davis and give her my two-cents worth. The following is a copy of the email that I sent to her this afternoon.

"Rep. Davis,

As a once and future Missourian (McDonald County), I was saddened to see the piece on you on the Colbert Report. Views like yours on the benefits of keeping children hungry make Missouri look a little wacko to the rest of the nation. You should apologize to Missouri's children and families - and then consider resigning.

Respectfully,

Rocky Macy
Litchfield Park, AZ"

If you have anything to share with Rep. Davis on the subject of children and hunger, her email address is: Cynthia.Davis@house.mo.gov

But try not to bother her during lunch!

Hard Luck, Montana

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

The 3,600 residents of Hardin, Montana, thought they had come up with a sure-fire way to stimulate the local economy a couple of years ago when they floated a $27 million bond issue to build a state-of-the-art prison that would hold 464 inmates. The facility would be leased to a private prison company, and up to one hundred locals would be hired to work there. Those technical or licensed positions that could not be filled by Hardin residents would attract high-salaried individuals from the outside who would, of course, purchase local goods and services - and homes. Although the good people of Hardin had no contracts to fill the prison with inmates, their politicians felt that the state was implicitly implying that it would support the facility.

Wrong.

Hardin sued the state for the political equivalent of breach-of-promise, and won the case. But still the prisoners did not come. Montana has a law on the books that prohibits the importation of prisoners from other states, and there was apparently no pressing need for more prison space. (Although the closest county jail has to turn away minor offenders because their prisoners are already stacked too high.) The $27 millions dollars in bonds went into default last year.

So, there is a new prison - a high quality prison - sitting vacant on forty acres near Hardin, Montana. When President Obama announced that Gitmo would be closed and its prisoners moved, the folks in Hardin sensed that Christmas might be about to happen. Their city council voted unanimously to offer up the empty prison for any or all of Gitmo's 240 "detainees." Yup, the people that nobody wanted had a safe lock-up waiting in Hardin, Montana. Bring 'em on!

But once again Hardin was foiled by its state politicians. Senator Max Baucus, who can be semi-intelligent if it suits him, said that he feels for the poor folks of Hardin, but..."we're not going to bring al-Qaeda to Big Sky Country - no way, not on my watch!" So much for being supportive of community development.

It can hardly be a safety issue, because if there is any state in the union that is better armed than Arizona, it has to be Montana. Any prisoner who managed to escape this maximum security facility would step into a frenzy of flying lead. It would be a bigger deal than elk season!

And water-boarding could be retired for good. One bitch of a Montana winter would have those terrorists spilling their guts about everything!

Hardin is missing the economic gravy train due to the political cowardice of its entire (3-person) Congressional delegation. The good folks of Hardin can kiss their $27 million good-bye thanks to the NIMBY (not in my back yard) attitude of a pack of dumbass political yahoos.

I am not a fan of privately run prisons, feeling they could easily become breeding grounds for all manner of abuse. But, they seem to be working in Arizona. So, if the people of Hardin have a prison waiting, and want the Gitmo prisoners - let's get it going!

And if that doesn't work out - McDonald County, Missouri, is still available. I will personally buy some of those bonds!

Moving on from Gitmo

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Shortly after taking office President Obama made a necessary and long overdue decision to close the “Detention” Facility at the Guantanamo Naval Station on Cuba. Many of the inmates who were in for no specific crimes other than being suspicious characters in somebody’s opinion have already been released and sent home. Others are more problematic and difficult to deal with. Supposedly some will be in danger if they are sent back to their home countries, and others may truly be dangerous. All in all, our government has about two-hundred-and-fifty “hot potatoes” sitting in holding cells at Gitmo who will have to be housed somewhere, at least for the time being.

The detainee population is a result of political and military decisions made in the United States, and consequently it is the United States that will have to deal with it. American politicians are already grandstanding about the “imminent dangers” imposed by this population and making loud demands that they not be shipped into their districts or states. Politicians know that this jingoistic noise plays well with voters. Just this week, for example, Virginia Republicans announced their opposition to Gitmo’s former residents being sent there (though apparently no one has suggested it), and challenged their Democratic Governor to join them in keeping the detainees at bay.

But the sad truth is that if they can’t be deported or released, those alleged terrorists will have to be housed somewhere. Selecting a location for their incarceration will be as controversial as figuring out where to store nuclear waste or deciding which military bases to close. Everybody will be quick to point someplace else.

I have three (very good) recommendations on where to transfer this problematic population. Each is a place where I have resided and about which I have a good deal of firsthand knowledge. They are listed below in reverse order (a la David Letterman):

The third best place to build a new, state-of-the-art prison for detainees with numerous good jobs for the local population would be anywhere in the state of Arizona. Arizona is home to many private prisons that contract out to other states to house their inmates. It is practically impossible to drive any distance in this state without passing a nice prison facility sitting out in the desert among the cacti and sage brush. I haven’t heard of any escapes – a fleeing felon would have to deal with extreme temperatures, scorpions, rattlesnakes, coyotes (two-legged and four-legged), and the odd Border Patrol agent.

The second best place to build a new, state-of-the-art prison for detainees with numerous good jobs for the local population would be Leavenworth, Kansas. Leavenworth (city and county) has long prospered on a prison economy. It is home to four major penal institutions: the U.S. Disciplinary Barracks at Ft. Leavenworth, the Federal Penitentiary, Kansas State Prison for Men, and Kansas State Prison for Women. Most local families have members who either are or have been employed in the prison industry, and, whether they admit it or not, local residents have come to accept the realities of penal institutions in their midst. A new prison would not have nearly the emotional impact on Leavenworth as it would in other communities.

And (drum roll, please)…

The very best place to build a new, state-of-the-art prison for detainees with numerous good jobs for the local population would be McDonald County, Missouri. Although McDonald County borders Benton County, Arkansas (the home to Wal-Mart, Tyson Foods, and Jones Truck Lines), it shares none of the wealth that has been slathered upon its Arkansas neighbor. The economic base of McDonald County is poultry processing and a scant bit of tourism, and the “best” jobs are teaching, postal, and working at the welfare office. (I am a veteran of all three and know that of which I type.) Land is still affordable, remote locations are abundant, and taxes are virtually non-existent.

And if none of the above work out, ship those rascals off to Crawford, Texas!

Made from Scratch

(The following was published in my former newspaper genealogy column, Rootbound in the Hills, on 28 June 1988. This re-publication is dedicated to my children: Nick, Molly, and Tim Macy. I hope that they treasure the rugged stock from which they emerged.)

Mary SREAVES CLOTFELTER of Monett is a talented writer who has an intense interest in preserving family history. She recently submitted a biographical sketch for publication in The Crowder Quill, the literary magazine of Crowder College. The sketch, "Made from Scratch," won the Gold Quill Award for best non-fiction from a member of the community. The subject, Mary Jane ELLIS SREAVES, was the author's grandmother and my great-grandmother. Cousin Mary and Crowder College have given me permission to share this special piece of family fabric with our Rootbound readers.

"Made from Scratch"

by Mary SREAVES CLOTFELTER

Since I have been appointed to help compile a "centennial cookbook," I remember my widowed paternal grandmother who was a "scratch cook," and wish I had her recipe for horehound candy. Beginning with the leaves of the horehound plants that grew beside her chicken house, she produced pieces of medicinal cough candy which became the forerunner of today's molded cough drops.

Then there was her smothered chicken, which she served when her large family returned home for big pot-luck family dinners on Sunday. Since Grandma hatched her own eggs, she had a surplus of roosters, and they, one by one, became the main dish for those special occasions. Hen's were granted a reprieve because they were destined to become layers of eggs for breakfast, ingredients for the good sorghum cakes Grandma made, and, most importantly, farm income.

Most young roosters are elusive birds and prone to making erratic turns and skids, sometimes becoming airborne when pursued. This made capture difficult for a grandmother past her prime. As a result, Grandma had a "chicken catcher," a long bamboo fishing pole with a wire noose attached at the end. With the aid of this contraption, the target rooster never lived to crow anothe morning, but did utter a few squawks when he was beheaded. This, of course, was the beginning of Grandma's smothered chicken, a real meat stretcher of tender fowl covered with some sort of steaming cream gravy and seasoned with a pinch of this and that. I wish I knew the spices she used.

I also remember the rich blackberry jelly Grandma made from berries she foraged, scratch by scratch, from her rocky hillsides. This delicacy, combined with sweet cream butter churned daily, spread atop a warm slice of her fresh sourdough bread, was a treat to be remembered by her grandchildren, and then passed on! Her house always had a lingering smell of all the good things she had cooked from scratch on her old wood stove.

Now as I reminisce, I realize Grandma was a real "made from scratch" pioneer filled with fortitude and grit. Perhaps it was passed down to her from her ancestors, the earliest settlers of Nantucket Island, and the other hardy folks, including native Americans, who had added to her gene pool along the way. Then there was the circumstance of providence which had helped to give her a perserving spirit.

I wish my children and their children had known this gentle, brave lady, Mary Jane SREAVES, who chose to spend her remaining years on her wilderness land and face the thorns of life. Now owned by the Missouri Department of Conservation and the people of Missouri, it has been set aside as a natural history area.

Little did Grandma know that the last residents of her land would be the wild things, but I think some of her Indian heritage would cause her to be pleased. The wild plum thickets drop their overripe fruit on the ground, the blueberries stain the mouths of the creatures who relish them, and the blackberry brambles cover the old paths and encroach upon the abandoned garden. Daffodils mark the edge of Grandma's long-ago yard, and the sweet smell of her lilacs permeates the springtime air.

Alex and Mary Jane SREAVES lived on their 80-acre farm in northern McDonald County during the early days of this century. Their property, which lies in the hills just beyond Buffalo Creek, was purchased a few years ago by the Missouri Conservation Department and is now known as Buffalo Hills. The state has preserved the natural beauty of the old homestead, and Cousin Mary has captured, on paper, some of the essence of that sprightly pioneer woman who did so much to turn the patch of wilderness into a home. Their efforts help to maintain and fortify a rich family heritage.