An Ode on Theft Mode

 

by Pa Rock

Septuagenarian

Old people, and particularly those living in rural areas, hang onto their driver's licenses and cars for as long as possible for three primary reasons:  grocery shopping, doctor visits, and trips to the pharmacy.  Some of us also like to make the occasional trip to visit grandchildren.

Yesterday afternoon I had an appointment for a doctor's visit in the community of Mountain Home, Arkansas, which is fifty miles from my residence.  It was an important visit centering on a cardiac test, and it was to be followed by two more visits to the same clinic over the next couple of weeks.  If for some reason I failed to make yesterday's appointment, the result would likely roll over and impact the timing of the next two visits as well.  I HAD to get there!

The appointment was for one p.m.  I hustled around in the morning and did a day's house and pet work in just a few hours, and at 10: 40 a.m. I walked out of the house and got in the car - with plenty of time to spare.  I sat in the driver's seat, got myself organized, and put the key in the ignition - and the car would not start.  Not only would the low mileage 2020 Kia Soul not start, the car alarm started going off as well, sending loud, repetitive blasts of the horn out across the serene rural community.

After two or three minutes the alarm stopped on its own, so I tried putting the key in the ignition and starting the car again, and the entire noisy process started once more.  My son has a friend who is a mechanic but I didn't have his number in my phone, so I called my son at work who didn't answer.  Then I phoned my other son who only lives a few hundred miles away and told him of my issue.  He called the Kia dealer in Kansas where I had purchased the car and quizzed the person who answered the phone.  She advised him that it sounded as though the car was in "theft mode," and that I would probably have to get it towed to a Kia dealer to have the "theft mode" shut off.

My son phoned back with that information.  The nearest Kia dealer was in Batesville, Arkansas, which was seventy miles away.  My daughter-in-law, a saint, was also on the internet trying to find a fix for the situation.

The car was in "theft mode," and I was rapidly going into "panic mode" as the time kept ticking away.  I knew there had to be some simple way to fix the situation and I began experimenting.  All that I learned was that every time I put the key in the ignition, the car alarm would start, and if I got out of the car, every time I opened the driver's side door the alarm would start.

Finally I decided that my only immediate options were either to cancel the appointment, something I was loathe to do, or rent a car for the afternoon.  I went in the house and got on the internet and found one place in West Plains that rents cars, but then I decided to call my insurance agent to see if her agency would cover the rental or if she had any other ideas.  Ramona is always very helpful.

Ramona didn't answer the phone, however, Addie did - and that was good because Addie is the smartest person in West Plains.  Addie listened to my tale of woe and then said "I need to look something up."  She put the phone down for a couple of minutes and when she came back on asked if I was in the car.  "No, I'm in the house," I told her.

"Go back outside and when you get to the car, press the 'unlock' on your key fob."

"It's already unlocked."

"Just do it, and then open the door and get inside and try again."

I did what she said and unlocked the already unlocked door, opened the door and was excited to find that the alarm did not go off, and then I seated myself behind the wheel, inserted the key, turned. the ignition, and the damned car started!

Old people, if you are pressed for time and have to be somewhere - and your only car won't start, don't muck around with car dealers and tow trucks.  Call your insurance agent and let that person find a way to keep you from spending their money!

I made it to Mountain Home with fifteen minutes to spare!

(Has there ever been a time when a car alarm actually prevented a crime - or are they just there to be a nuisance?)