Bezos is about to Reach Deeper into Our Pockets

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Things are apparently getting tight around the Jeff Bezos' household.  Not only is the billionaire greed head languishing in third place on the Forbes Magazine list of the world's richest people, but his lovely ex-wife, MacKenzie, his once-trusted partner who helped build Amazon.com into the world's biggest internet retailer, is now out tossing large sums of money from her divorce settlement to lefty social causes with wild abandon.  And The Washington Post, a major newspaper that Bezos bought in order to be a constant thorn in the side of Donald Trump, is bleeding cash so fast that hundreds of employees are being laid off in an effort to staunch the flow.

Times must be exceedingly hard for the 59-year-old billionaire whose net worth is just an embarrassing $168.2 billion.

But not to worry because Jeffie has a plan.  Beginning on January 29th of 2024 he will start peddling crappy products, not-to-be-missed special deals, and hot offers over Amazon Prime, a streaming service which is already overpriced and has traditionally been advertisement-free.  Discerning viewers, such as those of us who have gotten used to programming without ads and enjoy the concept, may maintain our ad-free content for a mere $2.99 per month.  

That almost sounds like a protection racket.  "Fork over three bucks a month, buddy, and we'll keep dem pesky adverts outta yer shows."

In addition to mass layoffs at The Washington Post, a significant rise in the cost of ad-free Amazon Prime, and just coming off of the best Christmas sales' season ever, Jeff Bezos is also preparing to move home - to South Florida, the place where benevolence goes to die - in order to be closer to his parents.  To his credit, Bezos is apparently getting his own place on "billionaire's row," and not moving into his parents' basement.

(On the credit side of the Bezos ledger, I will give him this:  Bezos and the number one individual on the Forbes' list, Leon Elon Musk, are both into space exploration and both seem to get a testosterone rush from showing off their big rockets.  The difference between the two, however, is this:  Jeff Bezos actually had the cahones to climb aboard one of his and ride into space.  Musk, on the other hand, is content to just tweet about his launch-pad ejaculations.  Yippee-ti-yi-yay, Leon Elon!)

As long as anyone, anywhere has money in their pockets, Jeff Bezos will have his hand in there too, rooting around for the last penny.  You can bet the house trailer on that!

Wealth Tax Now!