Friday, March 2, 2018

Me and Magoo Are Not Amused

by Pa Rock
Cat Advocate

Fiona, my farm cat, is once again heavy with budding new life.  I suspect that she will find a warm hidey-hole sometime in the next couple of days and seclude herself to give birth to a passel of kittens.  Fiona's first and only litter so far was last May 8th (Harry Truman's birthday) when she hid out in the barn loft and had five babies - two orange, two brindle, and one black.  Fiona is a small (when she isn't pregnant) brindle, fairly loving, and a good mouser.  She lives outdoors - where the mice are.

One of Fiona's last litter disappeared here at the farm before being weened.  Three of the others moved to the Kansas City area, where I have heard that one has already reproduced - and another I know to be living in the lap of luxury in a very nice home.   The one kitten who remained here at the farm was the little black one, a tom, who I eventually named "Magoo."

Magoo isn't near-sighted or far-sighted - that I can tell, but he does occasionally pull stunts that puts me in mind of the old cartoon character voiced by Jim Backus - "Mr. Magoo."  My Magoo will sometimes pounce and completely miss his target, and he has a ridiculous habit of collapsing in front of me while I am walking and then rolling around on the ground as I stumble to avoid stepping on him.  He is very much the clumsy adolescent.

Earlier this week Magoo and I learned that Donald Trump has taken to calling his attorney general, Jeff Sessions, "Mr. Magoo" in a derogatory manner.  Trump, a bully and name-caller of the first water, apparently conflates the position of attorney general with personal attorney to the president, and is once again mad at Sessions for not throwing himself in front of Robert Mueller's investigation bus.

Me and Magoo are not amused - and Jeff Sessions undoubtedly is not either.  How dare Trump compare Sessions with the lovable and vision-challenged Quincy Magoo!  The fact that the Pillsbury Dough Boy would call anyone names is a seismic betrayal of good manners and common decency, and to use "Mr. Magoo" instead of the far more appropriate and fitting "Granny Clampett" adds an element of ignorance into the mix.

If there is a fat orange kitten in Fiona's new litter, it's sure to be called "Windbag."   Magoo and I will have our revenge!

1 comment:

Xobekim said...

Congratulations. Have they figured out yet why that Fiona cat keeps getting in a family way? And before you ask, no thanks we really are at our limit.