$ign of the Time$

 

by Pa Rock

Road Warrior

If it wasn't for doctor visits, I wouldn't get out much, but as it now stands, with my bevy of doctors scattered from West Plains to Mountain Home (AR) to Springfield (MO), I find myself on the road quite often.  This morning I ventured out to the little town of Gassville (which is just south of Mountain Home), so that my eye doctor could perform my annual diabetic eye exam.

As a by-product of not getting out much, I find that when I do hit the road I tend to be very observant and on the lookout for social oddities.  This morning, while still in West Plains driving along Preacher Roe Boulevard, I saw a sign that caught my attention.  It was out next to the road and said simply:  "Crypto Sold Here."

I assume "crypto" refers to "crypto currency," some type of internet money that I have been hearing about - but of which I remain woefully ignorant.   I remember hearing about "Bitcoin" a couple of years ago.  It was a really cheap computer currency that you kept on-line and could use for on-line purchases.  Then I heard that the price of Bitcoin had skyrocketed and people who owned it were suddenly very rich - if they could remember their 47-digit passwords to access their Bitcoin - and they only got so many shots at getting the password right before the imaginary money went into an imaginary shredder and they lost everything.  (Talk about an emerging plot for a crime-thriller!)

But I guess all of that controversy has settled because now people can pull in off of the street in West Plains, Missouri, and purchase "crypto" currency from a dealer.  

I am relatively certain that I do not need any crypto and probably never will, yet I am curious.  Maybe I should buy some just to keep up with my neighbors.  That way when I am sitting around the coffee shop (which I hardly ever do) I can pull out my phone and gaze lovingly at my electronic cash.  Maybe I could even pay for my coffee and tip the waitress with a few clicks on the phone.  And after I do that I might even learn to use the GPS feature - or figure out how to put someone on speed dial - or turn off the flashlight!

I would at least like to see some crypto just to get a sense as to what all of the buzz is about.

Maybe I should go into the store that sells crypto and ask for a sample.  Or I could even purchase some, but I'm not sure how it is sold and I don't want to appear to be the country bumpkin that I obviously am.  Do I ask for it by weight?  "Give me a half-a-pound of your best crypto - with a side of baked beans."  Or perhaps by value?  "I'll take twenty-five dollars of crypto and a roll of quarters."  I'm certain it will be confusing - and that is before having to deal with passwords and such!

I hate passwords, I almost never text, and I don't like using my phone as a compass, flashlight, or camera.  

And there is something about going to a dealer to purchase imaginary money that just seems like fertile ground for fraud.  

Now that the onslaught of raging curiosity subsided, I am left with the sense that crypto probably is not for me.   I know it's old fashioned, but I still like money that folds - and is backed by the US government.

And if it can be stuffed into a mattress, well . . . that's just gravy!