by Pa Rock
Calendar Watcher
This is December 1st, the start of the month that will bring an end to 2020, one of the most difficult years of my lifetime. It is also the month that will usher in the official end of autumn and begin preparing us for the rigors winter weather. Winter is an especially hard time for the elderly. Both of my parents passed away during the month of December.
December 1st (today) is significant in my family because it is the day that separates the birthdays of two of my favorite six grandchildren. Willow was nine yesterday, and her brother, Judah, will be eleven tomorrow.
Today also marks the beginning of Donald Trump's last full month in office. (Can I get a "Hell yeah!"?) His forty-eight months as President of the United States certainly qualify as a prolonged low-point in American history, but that aberration will mercifully come to an end on January 20th.
This December is part of a period the dictionary calls an "interregnum," or the time between kings. King Donald of the Loaded Diaper is preparing to leave - whether he realizes it or not - and King Joe of the Brittle Bones is waiting to charge into the palace and take over. Crown Prince Mike is on his way out as well and his place on the little stool next to the big golden throne will be assumed by Crown Princess Kamala, the first woman to ever get that close to the seat of power and well as the first person "of color" to attain the vaulted rank of first-waiter.
King Donald of the Loaded Diaper has been very vocal about having to leave the palace. He has complained long and loudly that he was cheated out of being re-elected, though he he has yet to reveal exactly how that happened. Crown Prince Mike, on the other hand, has been quiet about his impending departure from government. One suspects that perhaps his wife, Mother, has had her fill of living in Sodom and Gomorrah and yearns to be back home again in Indiana!
But there is more to December than just birthdays, the hardships of winter, and politics. December is also home to the annual religious and secular celebrations known collectively as the Christmas holidays - or what Lucy Van Pelt referred to as "the gift-getting season!" It is the merriest month of the year, and as any child old enough for speech will happily attest, it is the month when Santa comes flying down from the North Pole with his sleigh full of toys for all of the world's good little girls and boys.
Yesterday I learned - on the internet, of course - that people relate to Santa differently across four different stages of life. Stage One is when you are young, and innocent, and view Santa Claus through eyes of wonder as someone who is very real. You hurry downstairs on Christmas morning to check the plate and glass where you left his cookies and milk - and then rush to rip what wrappings off of the packages that he brought.
Stage Two comes about as you age and start becoming cynical. Suddenly you realize that Santa Claus is not real and that your parents have been shamelessly exploiting your childlike innocence and ignorance for their own enjoyment.
Stage Three is for young adults and the parents of young children. Suddenly you discover that now you are Santa - as you stay up late on Christmas Eve assembling toys, wrapping packages, and carefully remembering to consume the milk and cookies that the kids left our for Santa. This stage often lingers into the early years of grandparenthood.
And finally there is Stage Four. That is when you step in front of the bathroom mirror at your senior living facility and are shocked to realize that you have physically turned into Santa Claus!
I'm in Stage Four!
Alexa, play some Christmas music!
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