Arizona Old Farts in the News

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Two of my favorite elderly Arizona politicians have been in the news this week, and, as with most stories about our political critters, neither was cited for particularly stellar reasons.  Our esteemed senior senator, John McCain, “Mr. Sunday Talk Show,” got in a bit of hot water when he tweeted a remark comparing the President of Iran with a monkey.    Old Mr. Crabby Pants got a little miffed because of the negative reaction to his tweet, and he accused those mortified by his racial insensitivity of not being able to take a joke.  (His continuing presence in the Senate should prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that Arizonans, at least, can take a joke and run with it!)

John McCain may not be as intellectually formidable as Chuck Hagel or Hillary Clinton, but by golly he has the good-old-boy patter down to a fine art – and that involves always being ready to draw on his quick wit.  But as with most quick-draw artists, he occasionally misfires.  And as for being racially insensitive, Big John was probably out someplace shooting craps the day that was taught at the U.S. Naval Academy – so cut the geezer some slack!  (McCain obviously did go to a few classes at the Academy – or else how could he have graduated ahead of five other people in a class of almost nine hundred?)

The other local geriatric politician to make it into the national press was Maricopa County Sheriff, Joe Arpaio.  Old Joe, like McCain, actively strives to keep his name and face before the public.  This week, however, he made news not for stopping crime, but rather for being the victim of crime.  Some nefarious felon got hold of Sheriff Joe’s credit card number and used it to purchase $291 worth of groceries in Chicago.

Old Joe, who is notoriously tight when it comes to feeding his prisoners, was not amused.  He seemed particularly incensed that the groceries had been purchased in Chicago, telling reporters that he has not even been in Chicago since 1957!  (What’s up with that, Joe?  You travel everywhere else on the public dime.)

Sheriff Joe is getting ready to purchase 400 automatic weapons for his deputies.  ("Wolverines!")  Let’s hope he is better at securing those than he is at protecting his credit card number.

John McCain (age 76), Joe Arpaio (age 80), and Pa Rock (age 64) all need to be thinking about retirement.  How about it guys?  I will if you will!