Stingtime in the Desert

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

Last week two women were attacked and almost killed in central Phoenix. Their attackers weren't petty criminals, crazed druggies, gang-bangers, or even those "illegal" brown people that worry our sheriff so. No, the attackers were Africanized "killer" bees.

It was last Thursday evening and these two ladies were walking down the sidewalk minding their own business when they were swarmed by thousands of killer bees. A good Samaritan happened by and saw the ladies struggling to fight off the bees which literally covered their bodies. He had a fire extinguisher in his vehicle and began spraying the ladies down trying to drive the bees off. The bees turned on the rescuer and began stinging him as well. The fire department arrived quickly and got the situation under control.

The firemen estimated that each of the ladies was stung over a thousand times. They were transported to a local hospital, each in critical condition. The good Samaritan was stung numerous times, though not to the extent as the original victims. He was transported to the hospital in stable condition.

Local news sources are warning the public to be extra cautious. This is the season that bees shake off the winter doldrums and begin to swarm. Also, with all of our recent rains, everything that can bloom - is blooming - and dripping with nectar!

Phoenix news outlets have also begun to issue warnings about scorpions becoming more active, with reports from local hospitals of an increase in patients with scorpion stings.

As a victim of a run-in with a scorpion (late one night in bed), I'm here to testify that there is nothing more painful on this parched, brown earth than a scorpion sting. That little bastard got me three times before I got him, and though he now resides in scorpion hell, he will have my respect for all eternity!