Dear Ken (Again)

by Pa Rock
Taxpayer

Mr. Kenneth Lewis
CEO
Bank of America Corporation
100 North Tyron Street, 18th Floor
Charlotte, NC 28255

Dear Ken,

It has been exactly one month since my last letter, and I was hopeful that you would have used that time to smarten up, but, as this week's news demonstrates, that was wishful thinking on my part.

You were in New York a couple of days ago to speak to the state's attorney general, Andrew Cuomo, regarding the $3.6 billion in bonuses that Merrill Lynch doled out to its executives just hours before they were taken over by Bank of America. When that story first broke you prattled on about it happening before your watch and it was all beyond your control. But then when Mr. Cuomo asked for names and amounts this week, you stonewalled. That pesky little New York lawyer could go fuck himself. You are Bank of America, and, as such, you answer to no mortal.

But not only did you stick your thumb in Cuomo's eye, you also put that colored boy in the White House in his place. Yep, you sure did! When President Obama said earlier in the week that the days of bank executives flying around in corporate jets were over, he didn't count on coming across a bank executive with cajones the size of yours. You hopped right in that $50 million corporate jet to fly off to New York to put Cuomo and Obama in their places. Yes, you did!

Ken, you are one arrogant bastard - and about as concerned with public opinion as Marie Antoinette was when she sneered that the Paris rabble could eat cake if they had no bread. That uncaring bitch sneered all the way to the guillotine. These are mean times, Ken, and heads are going to roll. A modicum of tact might might lessen the impact of your impending fall.

Andrew Cuomo is going to lay a big, fat subpoena on your butt, Ken, and he is going to find out who at Merrill Lynch got how much bonus money - and he is going to publicize that information, much to your chagrin. But see, Ken, he has to publicize all of that information that you regard as personal. The bosses have a right to know how much their employees are being paid. The bosses, Ken, have that right. The bosses have a need to know how their business is operated and how their money is being spent. I am one of the bosses, Ken, one of over 300 million taxpayers who own a big chunk of your company - and I damn sure want to know!

And you know what else, Ken? I think that it's high time we started selling off that fleet of corporate jets. You need to experience life flying coach, in a middle seat, back close to the restrooms.

As long as you are operating on taxpayers' money, you work for us. And while I can't speak for all of your other bosses, I am very unimpressed with your job performance thus far. If you can't generate some sense of humanity in your plush boardroom, it may be time for us to jettison your flabby ass - without a golden parachute!

The bosses are watching, Ken. It's time to shape up or ship out!

Pa Rock
Goodyear, AZ

Hogs at the Trough (with balls the size of planets!)

by Pa Rock
Citizen Journalist

A couple of months ago the United States Congress, an organization that routinely sinks to the IQ level of its dumbest member, gave the worst Treasury Secretary in our nation's history, Hank Paulson (who is possibly too dumb to serve in Congress), a blank check for $700 billion to help him prop up our national economy. Congress literally threw the money at Paulson with nary a string attached, begging him to shovel it onto the problem.

For those of us who can't comprehend the enormity of $700 billion, look at it this way: $700 billion is the equivalent of winning one million dollars - 700,000 times! Or, to put it on a more personal perspective, $700 billion spread equally among the almost 306 million inhabitants of our country would come to nearly $2,300 for each man, woman, and child.

That sort of bailout might have worked, but the one engineered by Secretary Paulson has been a dismal failure. Half of the money, $350 billion, has already been spent - but with what result?

The Associated Press decided to poll the 21 banks that received at least $1 billion of bailout money. The AP asked four very simple questions of the banks: How much has been spent? What was it spent on? How much is being held in savings? And, what is the plan for the rest of the money?

Those questions should be no problem for America's largest financial institutions to answer. They routinely manage large amounts money, and they certainly expect their borrowers to be able to answer those same types of questions. The money does, after all, belong to the American people, so the big banks should be eager to let the taxpayers know how it is being spent.

Yeah, right.

None (zip, zero, nada) of the 21 banks gave specific answers to the Associated Press. Some of the banks said that they couldn't track where the money was going because they mixed it with their money! (I'm betting they said that with a straight face!)

When an employee of Bank of New York Mellon was asked about the $3 billion received by his financial institution, he replied, "We're choosing not to disclose that." Then trying to minimize the arrogance of his response, he added, "I just would prefer if you wouldn't say that we're not going to discuss those details."

So, $350 billion into the giveaway, there is no evidence that any of the money has been pumped back into our ailing economy. Homes are still falling into foreclosure, young people are still staying away from college because they can't afford the skyrocketing tuition, millions are still suffering from a lack of affordable health care, factories are still closing, people are still being laid off, and most of America is spending considerably less this holiday season.

We're in the crapper and Hank Paulson is leaning on the handle. If there's a bright spot beyond the bowl, it is the likely ability of bank executives to fund their bonuses this year. But they would probably prefer it if we wouldn't say that!