Showing posts with label Powerball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Powerball. Show all posts

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Edgar Cayce, the UFO Store, and Powerball Numbers Not to Play This Week

by Pa Rock
Life's Bystander

I had a reader comment last night regarding the emporium for psychics and the UFO Store, so I thought it might be appropriate to expound a bit further on those shopping adventures. The actual name of the psychic emporium, if I remember correctly, was The Crystal Palace. It was a fairly new building with a big porch and some outdoor seating for bored spouses, most of whom were of the husband variety. Inside the air was heavy with incense, and there were numerous new age trinkets for sale including crystals, key chains, lucky charms, angels, and things of that ilk. There were also lots of books on the spirit world and psychic phenomenon.

A sign directed customers upstairs for psychic readings, but I really wasn't up for learning the future. I would rather be surprised!

There were several books on the psychic whiz-bang of the late 1800's and early 1900's, Edgar Cayce. Those drew my interest because I have some personal knowledge of the amazing Mr. Cayce. Before moving to Arizona, I worked at Ft. Campbell, Kentucky, for two years and rented an apartment up the road in Hopkinsville, KY, the hometown of Edgar Cayce. Each year the community hosted a special day devoted to Edgar Cayce, an event that I studiously avoided. Activities included a lengthy tour of Hopkinsville and vicinity that focused on the old haunts (pun intended) of Cayce. The tour was followed by an evening performance of a play on the life of Edgar Cayce that was penned by a local scribe.

While I'm not a believer in this paranormal claptrap, my good friend and co-worker at Ft. Campbell, Sandy Price, was. She lived in Clarksville, TN, but drove up to Hopkinsville to enjoy the Cayce fest the second year that I lived there. Sandy talked me into joining her for the play that evening, something that I wanted to do because I desired to get a look inside of the historic (and very run down) theatre that was hosting the event. To my complete surprise, the play was actually quite good, and I came away with a certain appreciation for the skills (or charlatanry) of Edgar Cayce.

As a point of local pride, the Cayce family still has a pharmacy in Hopkinsville.

But there was nothing for me in the Crystal Palace, and I walked across the parking lot to the other attraction on the wrong side of the highway - The UFO Store. The store had some tourist attractions in the parking lot including a UFO Recovery Vehicle - an old pick-up with a sign that identified it as such, a small flying saucer that was big enough for two small humans, and some sort of rocket that might accommodate one petite human.

The inside of the store was filled with little, plush ET's - green in color, UFO tees of various descriptions, books on UFO sightings, and lots of stuff on Roswell, including laminated copies of the front pages of Roswell newspapers at the time of the crash and the great government cover-up. I purchased two postcards based on the famous Shepherd Fairey posters of Obama. Obama's face, of course, had been replaced with that of a Hollywood standard extra-terrestrial, and the slogan at the bottom said "Believe." I also bought a couple of aliens-as-cowboys postcards by local artist Xandy Lifson.

I spent quite a bit of time perusing the wares of the UFO Store, but I could find no local connection to Sedona. What the hell, though, do you need to have a UFO land in your backyard in order to believe - or turn a profit?

With one final nod to the paranormal, I would like to advise anyone who has read this far to stay away from the numbers 28 and 37 for Wednesdays $245 million Powerball drawing. I bought two sets of three tickets each today - at different quick stops. The Powerball numbers on the first were 28, 37, and 16. The Powerball numbers on the second were 28, 37, and 38. So 28 and 37 ain't gonna happen, and 16 and 38 don't look so good either. Trust me.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Powerball Secrets Revealed!

by Pa Rock
Mathematically Challenged
Citizen Journalist

The Powerball jackpot for next Wednesday is $138 million. The people who run the Powerball lottery would have you believe that their game is totally chance, and everyone who enters has the same odds of winning - literally none in a bazillion!

Well, that's just stuff and nonsense.

Okay, the odds are really stacked against the suckers who buy tickets, but random chance has nothing to do with the results. The whole game is based one keeping one player from winning. Yes, that's tight, the Powerball gods have selected one smuck to serve as a foil for their wicked game. I know this because I am that smuck.

In order to beat the mighty Powerball, all one has to do is study my numbers and then adjust their selections accordingly. I make it easy for Powerball to defeat me, because I let their computers select my numbers each week. That way they have me coming and going. Powerball can give me crappy numbers on the front end, and select other numbers as winners on the back end. It's quite a racket!

Here's an example of how it gets me on the front end: The Powerball number(the special number - the red ball) for the last two drawings has been eight. There are 39 possibilities for the Powerball number, 1-39, so it is amazing that the same number could be drawn twice in a row - amazing but not impossible. Three in a row, of course, would be damned near impossible, so no sane person would rush out and intentionally select 8 for their Powerball number. But I went to the local convenience store today and ordered up one auto-pick. I knew beyond any doubt that the computer would spit up an 8 for my Powerball number - and it did! Loser! The Powerball numbers for the two drawings prior to the 8's were 9 and eleven. Again, any bookmaker knows that the next Powerball number will be outside of that tight little 8 to 11 circle. When I bought a second ticket at a different convenience store later today, I was again able to safely predict that the Powerball number would be somewhere in the 8 to 11 vicinity. It was a ten! Loser!

And as for the back end of the operation, the Powerball gods truly enjoy messing with me by spitting out Powerball numbers that are almost the ones on my tickets. If I have two tickets, and the Powerball number on one is 34 and the other is 36, you can bet the Chevrolet that the winning Powerball number will be 35. It's as evil as it is devious! The gods also like to reverse my numbers: if I have a 23, the winner will invariably be a 32. Sadistic bastards!

Anyone who is serious about making a profit at Powerball would do well to take some time off of work and follow me around taking notes. Eliminating my numbers from the equation will increase your odds markedly. And as for that $138 million on Wednesday night, 8 and 10 ain't gonna be the Powerball numbers, and 9 and 11 don't look so good either!

Trust me!