White Trash Birthday Bash at White House, Don't Forget Your Rubbers!

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Today Donald Trump, the oldest person ever elected President of the United States, is observing his 80th birthday.  Last year he celebrated his 79th with a massive military parade across the governmental heart of Washington, DC, a "Flag Day" parade that was a dud by any reasonable person's standards, an event so agonizingly lackluster and boring that Trump himself, the birthday boy, fell asleep while watching it pass by.  

This year Trump's people and a fight promoting company of which Trump is a stockholder have set up a 90-foot-tall arched steel truss system called "the Claw" on the South Lawn of the White House.  "The Claw" is an LED-lit dome and lighting rig designed to frame the Washington Monument and the Executive Mansion during tonight's celebratory event - an evening of cage-match fighting, something that uppity Kennedy Center has yet to ever host.

(Yes, and "Kennedy Center" is the correct appellation.  Trump's name was removed from the structure yesterday!)

There are some classy before-and-after shots of the South Lawn circulating on the internet that are well worth a look-see.   The 'before' shots show a majestic, well-maintained green lawn with a circular fountain as the centerpiece, but the earth is barren and brown in the 'after' shots with the big, ugly dome dwarfing the White House.    The once-beautiful lawn now has the overall look of a ragged midwestern carnival setting-up in a fallow field.  There has never been a more potent image of Trump despoiling America than the way the South Lawn of the White House appears at present.  The desecration is stunning!

Tonight's event beneath the massive steel "Claw" in the backyard of the White House is a seven-bout fight card.  The venue will seat 4,300 in the open air.  While the show is being billed as a part of the official celebration of the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, it will not be open to the general public and attendance will be by invitation only - but most of those who are invited will have free tickets.  However, the few "special" guests invited to sit in the "special" lawn seating will be paying up to $1.5 million each to park their butts in front of the unwashed masses.  (Money aways buys privilege in Donald Trump's America.)

Tonight's birthday fiasco has an estimated cost north of $60 million to cover construction of the temporary octagon arena, security costs, and payroll for the hundreds of event workers.  Those costs will be paid by TKO Group Holdings, the owner of UFC.  (Trump is a shareholder in TKO.). Fighter bonuses are being backed by the Trump family crypto business, World Liberty Financial.

The weather forecast for tonight in Washington, DC, is:

"Partly to mostly cloudy with a lingering chance of a thunderstorm or two, particularly in the early evening, followed by the temperatures dropping to the mid-to-upper 60s.   It will remain quite humid, and any evening storms could bring localized gusty winds and heavy downpours."

(And "humid" conditions in a tidal basin area that was formerly a swamp could bring mosquitoes the size of drones.  Just sayin'.)

For the fortunate 4,300 who were invited to tonight's big event on our White House lawn,  you might want to pack a poncho, and don't forget your rubbers!  (And thunderstorms could produce lightning, so leave those tin-foil hats at home!)

Happy birthday, Piggy!  May your party be everything you deserve.