Salad Man: The Classiest Act at the WHCD

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

Things were undoubtedly chaotic and dramatic, perhaps even a bit cinematic, as hundreds of guests at the White House Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, DC, Saturday night "hit the deck" and dove beneath their tables when shots rang out.  Even though they were still on the salad course, most politicians and journalists forfeited their remaining lettuce for the safety of sitting scrunched up beneath their tables in formal attire as a major news story unfolded around them. 

Mentalist Oz Pearlman was the featured entertainer for the evening since Trump can't take a joke and is not a fan of the television comedians who would normally host such a gathering.  Pearlman was at the front table in the middle of his act and performing a personal trick for Trump, Melania, and Presidential Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt when shots were fired outside of the ballroom, one floor up - and serious commotion broke loose.  Interestingly, Pearlman, a man who makes his living seeing into the future and into the dark crevices of the human mind, failed to see the shooting before it happened, and, as he scrambled beneath a table, feared that he might have given his last performance.

The shooter, a 31-year-old tech engineer from the Los Angeles area, was staying at the hotel where the dinner was being held, but never even made it all the way down to the actual floor where the reporters and politicians were breaking bread together.  By the time people began crawling back out from under their tables, the Secret Servie had the shooter, apparently a lone gunman, in custody.

That was the overview of the activity at the Hilton Hotel in Washington, DC, last Saturday night.  the meal did not continue, but many of the "after parties" apparently were held in spite of the drama.  Trump, who had never attended the White House Correspondents' Dinner before as President, seemed to be buzzed by all of the excitement in which he was in no immediate danger, and he began promoting it as grounds for building his vanity ballroom.  He is also demanding that the event be rescheduled within the next two months, although his position in the affair is simply that of "guest."

There was an interesting sidebar to the evening of chaos that news reports initially missed.  After films of the commotion were reviewed, it was revealed that one guest, a man, remained sitting calmly at his table enjoying his salad while everyone else was taking part in the panic.   The diner was quickly tagged with the monker "Salad Man," until it was finally established that he was Michael Glantz, a big-name talent agent who represented some of the people hiding under the tables.

When Mr Glantz was interviewed later regarding his odd behavior during the event, he said that he was used to activity and sirens, and he had not been scared - and he added that he wanted to watch the excitement.   The talent agent suffers from a bad back, is a "hygiene-freak," and was also wearing a new tuxedo.   Salad Man summed up his situation on Saturday night by saying:

"There was no freaking way I was getting on the dirty Hilton floor in my new tux.  It was not happening."

Salad Man was most likely the classiest act of the evening.