Diplomacy for Dummies (2): Don Senior Plots an Empire

 

by Pa Rock

Citizen Journalist

American imperialism has been re-inflated since the recent presidential election and now seems to be boldly on the march.  The in-coming President has been belching fascistic remarks about seizing Greenland and the Panama Canal for "national security" reasons, and he seems to be openly campaigning to sell Canadians on the idea of "merging" with the United States, but only as one additional state.  (More states would mean more senators, and Canada might send Democrats to Washington.)   (But, on the plus side, more populated territory would mean more members of Congress, and those, too, might weigh-in on the Democratic side of the scale.  How would you really feel about that, Jason Smith?)

And if Canada joined the United States, would its citizens lose their government-paid health care, or would it be extended to those of us south of the border?  Is Don Senior proposing to provide "Medicare for All?"  (Jason, how would that grab you?)

Greenland, the centerpiece of the next President's quest for American expansion, is the world's least populated country (56,000 people spread out over an area larger than the Louisiana Purchase) and would have no impact on the Senate if it was attached to Alaska - as seems to be one prominent Republican plan - and it would have damned little impact on the House - less than one member.  But it is huge, and the in-coming President is definitely a size queen.

Most of the population of Greenland is a multi-ethnic mixture of European (primarily Danish) and native Inuit descent and can be broadly regarded as somewhat European, something that is generally acceptable to the MAGAts.   What would not be acceptable to the followers of the next President are the brown-and-black-skinned peoples south of the US border - which is why there is no clamor coming from Don Senior or his minions for us to take over Mexico, or Guatemala, or Haiti.  The citizens in those nations would not blend well in the nation that Don Senior seems to be envisioning.  The Panama Canal Zone is an exception to that color rule because it has appeal for geo-political reasons.

Yesterday the foreign policy shit show coming from Mar-a-Lago managed to take another turn toward stupid when Don Junior and a couple of political toadies flew to Greenland in "Trump Force One" for a few photo-ops of the passengers and the plane on the ground in that vast and snowy wilderness.   Things got even more bizarre when Don Senior coughed up another political hairball by suggesting that he would like to rename the "Gulf of Mexico" as the "Gulf of America."

I'm not even sure that I oppose the renaming the Gulf because it is surrounded on three sides by North America, Central America, and South America.  But it is also home to many islands, some of which are independent nations.  What would give the United States the right to rename this massive body of water.  Wouldn't someone from Rand McNally or National Geographic have to weigh-in on the matter.  Marjorie Taylor Greene, the intellectual leader of the Republican caucus in Congress, says that she will introduce a bill today to officially change the name to the "Gulf of America."

It could, of course, be legitimately called the Caribbean Sea, which is one of its official names, but Caribbean is derived from "Carib," the name of a group of indigenous peoples who were already at home on the islands and in parts of South America when the Europeans arrived and began renaming everything.  Calling the Gulf the Caribbean Sea would have historical precedence.

But Don Senior, who is preparing to change the name of Mt. Denali in Alaska, the highest peak in North America, back to it's original European moniker of Mt. McKinley,  named for a Republican US President, doesn't seen to be a fan of native history or names.     

A new American empire may be on the horizon, and regardless of its name - "Trumplandia, "Elonia," or even just "X," - it will be so massive that we will all feel compelled (or perhaps be literally forced) to buy new globes to appreciate its size.  There is undoubtedly a sales plan for new maps and globes being drawn up today, probably in Mar-a-Lago.

It does not sound as if there will be much diplomacy or foreign policy left lying around unattended for Secretary of State Marco Rubio to be bothered with.  His helpers are already busy reconfiguring the world in their own image.

Just because a businessman could not turn a profit in a casino that he owned, does not mean that he can't manage a planet.  Am I right?